


A Dangerous Game

by TangoDown1800



Category: Call of Duty
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Fighting, Kissing, Sexual Content, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:17:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4648467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TangoDown1800/pseuds/TangoDown1800
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gideon has a problem. He's in love with you, but he hasn't told you. Then Specialist Donnie "Ruin" Walsh shows up and threatens any chance he may have with you. Will you have to choose between the two or will you have a little fun with both?</p><p>*Also on FF.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gideon's Dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm back! I'm actually writing two stories, but I'm posting this one first because I already have three chapters done! (YAY!). A lot of you may not know who Ruin is. He is a cybernetically-augmented Specialist in the upcoming Black Ops 3. I played the beta and fell in love right away lol (I will post a picture of him). We all know how headstrong Gideon is and I can totally see Ruin being just as headstrong if not MORE..and they both want YOU. Can it get any better?
> 
> *DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me (of course)

**-Gideon's POV-**

Gideon was crazy about her.

Did she know? No and he'd rather keep it that way. He felt as though he was much too old for her and she probably fancied Mitchell just like all the other women.

Gideon didn't consider himself a bad looking man, he was just rugged.  _Maybe she likes rugged..._

Gideon couldn't find it in him to speak to her about anything other than their missions or small talk.  _You're going to regret not telling her if she ends up getting a boyfriend._ He shook his head and looked at her talking to Mitchell, smiling and laughing...it made him smile.

Had he ever made her smile like that? Probably not. He didn't smile much and he certainly didn't laugh much, but for some reason she brought it out of him.

"Something catch your eye, Captain? Or should I say  _someone_?" Ilona whispers to him.

Ilona knew all about how he felt and she promised to keep it a secret but that didn't mean she wouldn't tease him. "Shut up, Ilona."

She laughs and says, "What are we all meeting here for today anyway? I'm tired." Gideon shrugs, "Fuck if I know."

As soon as he says that Irons walks in. "Good morning everyone," he says and everyone says it back. "You may be wondering why I called you all here, well, I'm about to show you. Specialist Ruin, please come in."

Everyone turns to the door and a man walks in. Not just any man, but someone who has been enhanced in some way, for lack of a better term. Gideon hears a gasp and "wow" and he looks at [y/n]. She's staring a him in what he hopes is shock.

"This is Donnie Walsh or as he likes to be called, Ruin. He is  _not_ a robot rather he is cybernetically augmented or enhanced..almost like Mitchell's arm but more," Irons continues.

"That is so fucking cool." Gideon hears her say to Mitchell.

"I'll let you all introduce yourselves. I have some business to attend to. Have a good day," Irons leaves and the room is silent, so silent Gideon can hear the whirring coming from that...man.

Mitchell stands first and walks over to Ruin. "Hi, I'm Mitchell," he holds out his real hand to shake. "Wow, that's powerful," he says while flexing his fingers after the handshake. Ilona goes up next then Gideon. [Y/N] looks too stunned to move.

As Gideon approaches he notices Ruin looking at something. He's looking at  _her. I don't think so, buddy..._ He clears his throat and Ruin looks at him, "Welcome. I'm Gideon...Captain," he adds quickly.

"Yeah, how's it goin?" Ruin says shaking his hand quickly.

[Y/N] finally stands and walks over, "Hello..I'm [y/n]. Its nice to meet you."

"You sure about that, sweetheart?" he says and she giggles.

"Well, I hope so."

"I'll try to live up to that expectation," Ruin says looking her right in the eye.  _Enough of this..._

"Hey, you want to go get something to eat?" Gideon cuts in.

"Oh, um yeah. Would you like to come, Ruin?" she asks and Gideon groans inwardly.  _No._ Just the way she says his name gives him a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.  _Please say no._

"Nah, I'm good, but next time for sure," Ruin says shaking her hand again.

"Next time," she repeats before walking out. Gideon isn't far behind.

 

They meet up with Mitchell in the mess hall and find a table to eat at.

"Mitchell, what did you think of the new guy?" Gideon asks.

"He seems pretty cool. We have a little something in common," Mitchell says between bites.

"I don't know. He seems a bit full of himself, don't you think?" Gideon says.

"The man hardly talked. How can you tell if he's full of himself?"

"Just a feeling." He looks at her, she's quieter than usual. "What did you think, [y/n]?" She stops chewing and wipes her mouth. Stammering a little, "He, uh, he seemed nice. I don't really know him well enough yet...like he said.."

This was just what Gideon needed:  _another_ young guy coming in and taking all of her attention.  _She doesn't even know how you feel, you idiot. You can't be mad if she is attracted to another man._

Gideon sighs and stands, "I'm not as hungry as I thought I was. See you guys later." He walks out feeling like shit. "Fuck me," he says to no one in particular.

"Gideon!" He stops when he hears her calling his name. She runs up to him, "Are you okay? You left in a hurry back there." She gives him a concerned look and he just wants to snatch her up and kiss her.

_No, I'm not okay. I want you...badly and I can't find a way to fucking tell you. Now this younger man has come along and...FUCK!_

"Yes, I'm fine," Gideon says instead trying to give her a reassuring smile. Smiling back, she touches his arm, "Okay, well..if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here. I know you probably see me as some young girl with no experience, but I'm good at listening."

"Thanks, I'll remember that." He watches as she makes her way back to the mess hall.

_I gotta tell her, that's it._

 

**-Your POV-**

Gideon was acting so strange, especially after the new guy showed up. 

 _Ruin._ You'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't immediately attracted to him. Was that what was bothering Gideon? No, couldn't be. You were his subordinate. However, you had been attracted to Gideon as soon as you two were introduced over a year ago.

You flirted and everything, but he just didn't seem interested. Of course not, he was a mature man probably in his forties and he probably wanted a woman closer to his age.

When you told Ilona about you little crush she just laughed.

There were times that you could swear you caught the captain staring at you, but those moments were always short lived.

You finally began to put it all out of your mind. Gideon didn't want you, it was time to be realistic. 

It had been awhile since you had a boyfriend and had sex, maybe you were just desperate. You had dreamt of Gideon  _that_ way much more than you'd like to admit. You were so deep in thought that Mitchell had to shake you to snap you out of it.

"[Y/N]...is everything okay?" Mitchell asks concerned. You nod, "Yeah, just daydreaming as always."

"Alright, I'm going to take a nap. I'll see you later." Mitchell says.

"Cool..bye Mitchell."

 

**-Ruin's POV-**

There she is. He'd been looking for her ever since she left to get food with that Captain Gideon guy.

He turned down the invitation because he wanted her to himself even if it was for a little while.

When she looked at him, she was smiling then her face changed.  _I'm used to that._ As he approached, he raised his hand in greeting and she smiled again. "Hey there. It's nice to see you again," she says genuinely.

"I've been looking for you," he says without preamble.

"For me? Why's that?"

"No reason. I just wanted to see you again," Ruin says waiting for her reaction. She giggles and blushes. "Maybe you can give me a tour some time. I still need to figure this place out."

She nods, "Of course..whenever you want."

He can tell she has a lot of questions and he doesn't blame her. "Do I scare you?" he asks.

"What?! No! Not at all. Its just my first time seeing someone like...like you," she says looking down.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Ruin says lightening the mood.

"Oh, please do. It's the coolest fucking thing ever." He laughs at her cursing and she looks at him. "What's so funny?"

"I just didn't see you as the type of girl with a potty mouth."

"Oh, you don't know me well enough...yet," she winks and its almost his undoing.  _Down boy._

"Are you going to give me a chance to get to know you better?" Ruin asks.

"Of course. If we're going to be working together I think we should know each other as well as possible."

"I agree." He wasn't going to say exactly what was on his mind. She stops in front of the barracks, "Well, this is me..."

"Right, so how about tomorrow after my work out we grab some breakfast and you can give me that tour," he says.

"It's a date," she says before walking away with a little bounce in her step.

_Don't get yourself in trouble now, Donnie._

 

 


	2. Too Little, Too Late?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ilona spills the beans and so does Gideon.

**-Your POV-**

_Was I too flirty with him?_ It doesn't matter. You're single, there's nothing wrong with flirting.

Ilona is standing by your door when you get upstairs, she looks tense. "Ilona, what's up? Are you okay?"

"I need to talk to you," she says hurriedly.

"Oh okay." You open your door, Ilona comes in and slams the door. "My god, Ilona..what the fuck is going on?" You ask really worried now. You've never seen her act like this.

"I'm going to tell you something. I really shouldn't but keeping it in is killing me and I think it might help a certain person. He can't know I told you though, okay?" Ilona says while pacing. You nod, "You have my word now..what is it?"

"Gideon loves you!"

"He WHAT?!" You stare at her in disbelief then laugh. "Is this some kind of joke?" Ilona's face doesn't change at all, "I'm serious. He's crazy about you."

You shake your head and sit down on your bed. "How...I mean...how do you know?"

"I figured it out and he eventually told me, but he never acted on his feelings. He's worried about his age and doesn't think you'd want anything to do with an old man like him." Ilona rolls her eyes. You don't say anything for awhile then Ilona sits next to you. "You can't be that surprised."

You look at her. "Yes! Yes I can! I've pined after that man for so long and he never paid attention to it! Now you tell me this and I was ready to move on. I thought it was a lost cause. Oh my god..."

"Ready to move on? You mean with that Ruin fella?" Ilona asks smirking.

"I..I..no, not exactly. I don't even know him that well." You can feel your face flushing.

"I saw the way you were staring at him. So did Gideon." 

You groan. "Please don't make me feel like shit."

"You shouldn't feel like shit. Gideon didn't let you know his true feelings and now he's lost out. He should be the one feeling like shit. I told him repeatedly to tell you, but he always found some excuse." Ilona shrugs.

"What am I going to do?" You ask desperately.

"You could always have fun with both of them," Ilona says seriously.

"Ilona!" You slap her on the arm and she starts laughing. "What? Men do it all the time. What do they call it...fuck buddies..yeah."

"Who says I even want to have sex with either of them?" You say and Ilona gives you a look.

"Please, [y/n] when did you last have a boyfriend? When did you last have sex?" She asks and you look down avoiding eye contact. "That's not important." You don't even believe yourself.

"I know you are not the little Miss Innocent that you would have us believe you are. Live a little. Let your freak flag fly!" Ilona says. Hearing that with her accent makes you laugh.

"How do you know if I have a freak flag?" You ask feigning innocence.

"We all do. You're a quiet one so I know for sure that you do."

"I still can't believe it..." you say shaking your head.

"Well, believe it. The captain is in love with you and probably wants to bang you.."

"Ilona stop!!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Gideon probably wants to  _make love_ to you. Is that better?" Ilona says nudging you.

"No..."

"Eh, you'll be alright. I wonder which one will get you naked first..." Ilona says with a huge smile.

"Get out. My virgin ears can't take anymore of this talk," you say trying not to laugh. Ilona stands and walks to the door, "I want all the nasty details when it does happen."

"Out!" She steps out the door and says, "$20 says Gideon gets it first!" You throw a pillow at her, but she closes the door before it reaches her.

Could that really be true? You don't think Ilona would lie to you about something like that. You lay down on your bed and smile. It actually makes you feel kind of special, but it also scares you.  _What am I going to do?_

 

**-Gideon's POV-**

Gideon had been looking for Ilona, but she was nowhere to be found. He was ready to tell [y/n] how he felt and he had no idea how to do it.

Ilona always gave him great advice and of course when he needs her most she's disappeared. He walks towards where [y/n] lives and Ilona looks as though she is just leaving there.

"Ilona!" Gideon shouts and she turns to him.

"Hey Captain. Going to see the love of your life?" she asks.

"Fuck off...I mean..I was looking for you."

"What do you need, Captain?"

"I think...I am going to tell her how I feel." He thinks he sees Ilona's smile fade for a second, but it's too quick to tell.

"Go for it," she says.

"That's it? Go for it? That's all you have to tell me?" Gideon says, frustrated.

"I have no more advice to give you, Captain. I've been trying to tell you for a year to make your move and you always put it off. Now that this new guy comes along, you want to act on your feelings? You better hope its not too late. I already saw them together," Ilona finishes.

Gideon is not quite sure what to say. Everything Ilona had said was true. Why did he wait so long? "Fuck me," he says out loud.

"Get in there. She's probably going to bed soon," Ilona says walking away.

He looks at the entrance of the building.  _Get your ass moving!_ He walks into the building and uses the stairs to give himself more time to think. Now he's in front of her door.  _Knock you fool._

He knocks three times and waits. His nerves were a mess. The door unlocks and then it cracks open, her eyes go wide. "Captain? Is...is everything okay?"

"E-everything is fine. I just want to talk and I know I can talk to you about anything."

"Okay, as long as you don't mind that I'm in my PJs," she says blushing slightly. "Come in." She opens the door so he can walk in and closes it lightly.

Gideon is standing there like an idiot. "Sit." She points to a chair.

"I think I'd rather stand," he says and she shrugs. "Okay, what's up?

He takes his beanie off and runs his fingers through his hair. "Well, fuck..uh.." he laughs nervously. "I like you," he finally says.

"I like you too, Gideon."

_Shit._

"No, I mean I  _really_ like you. A LOT. Like I fucking love you." Gideon looks at her face, no smile, no nothing.  _Fuck this..._ He walks over to where she's sitting, pulls her into his arms and kisses her. Her hands are against his chest almost as if she's ready to push him away, but she doesn't.

He doesn't want to stop, but he does, placing his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry. I had to...fuck...that was...that was..."

"Amazing," she finishes for him. Then she shakes her head and walks away from him. "Gideon, why are you telling me this now?" she asks, her back turned to him.

"I...I don't know."

"I liked you for the longest time and you never gave me any sign that you felt the same way," she gives a forced laugh and hugs herself. He walks to her and she turns around, "Are you telling me now because you feel threatened? You didn't like how I looked at Ruin. Are you jealous?"

Gideon winces at that but answers, "Yes. Yes I am."

"Well, Captain, that isn't exactly fair. What if I already have feelings for someone else now?" she says looking right at him.

Gideon shrugs,"I would have to understand, wouldn't I? After all, I'm the one that waited so long."

She nods, "Why would you do that?" She turns away again, extremely frustrated.

"It wasn't just because of the new guy. I just thought that maybe I was too old, you know. I'm up there." Gideon was feeling sorry for himself.

"That's ridiculous and you know it." She won't even look at him now.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm a grown woman, Gideon and its not like you're 70 fucking years old!" He never heard talk like this before. He really hit a nerve.

"Look, I was stupid. I am stupid. I don't expect you to just change everything now." Gideon looks at her until she looks at him. 

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm mad at you." She turns away again. "I have to be up early. I'm giving Ruin a tour of the base."

"Of course...okay." Gideon walks to the door and she walks behind him. "Can you at least think about what I've told you?" he asks turning to her.

She nods, "I'll think about it, but I won't promise anything."

"Fine, but you should know..." he presses her against the door and she looks up at him, eyes wide. "I'll find a way to win you over." Gideon says and kisses her. When he pulls away all she can say is "Oh."

He smiles as she leans in to kiss him again. He leans in as if he is going to kiss her, but says good night instead.

She moves away from the door and he leaves feeling fucking amazing.

_Your move, Ruin..._


	3. The Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You give Ruin the tour he asked for but not before an awkward and tense breakfast...

**Your POV**

_What the fuck, Gideon?_

You weren't expecting him to show up like that and you certainly weren't expecting him to kiss you  _twice._

Here you are lying in bed unable to sleep, thanks to him. Now how would you act around Gideon? Ruin?  _Shit, I need to sleep..._ You roll over and close your eyes and eventually fall asleep, but only in fits and starts. The next time you wake up its 5 am so you decide to go take a shower and get dressed, you weren't going back to sleep now. _  
_

You had no idea what time you were supposed to be meeting Ruin so you waited an hour then went downstairs. As soon as you walk outside he's walking over. "Good morning," you say. Ruin walks over to you. "Mornin."

He gives you a bright smile and you can't help but smile back.  _He smells so good..._

Now you were trying to figure out how he showers with his cybernetics. Does it come off? Is it waterproof? Those are questions for later.

"You smell good," you say stupidly, immediately closing your eyes in regret. "I'm sorry."

He laughs. "It's alright. You smell pretty delicious yourself."

"Heh, thank you." You look down playing with your fingers.

"So should we get some breakfast? I know I'm starving," Ruin says.

"Sure, come on." You start walking and he walks beside you looking ahead. You're staring.  _Stop staring._ But that jawline, those cheekbones...and the haircut fits him so well. You sigh out loud and he looks at you. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well last night. I'm not at my best this morning." You get to the mess hall and he holds the door open for you. "Thanks."

"No problem," Ruin says in that wonderful voice of his.

It seems like the entire hall quieted down when he walked in."I guess everyone is still getting used to you," you say attempting to ease the tension.

"It's nothing, I'm used to it. Happens everywhere I go." When you two sit he asks you something and you nearly choke on your food. "What's with your Captain...Gideon, right? I don't think that guy likes me." You swallow your food quickly and drink some juice to give yourself time. "Oh, Gideon...he's like that towards all the new people."

"Even you?" Ruins asks and you nod,"Yeah, even me."

Just then Gideon walks in and this time you actually do choke on your food. Ruin stands quickly. "Are you alright?!" You nod and manage to tell him to sit back down, you didn't want to make a scene.

He sits slowly still giving you a concerned look. You drink some more juice and its finally under control. 

Wiping your eyes, you smile at Ruin. "See? I'm okay."

"Better be," he says as Gideon approaches.

"Good morning, [y/n]...Ruin," Gideon says as pleasantly as possible. You both say good morning and Gideon looks at you. Your face must be red and your eyes are still watery.

"[Y/N], what's happened?" His eyes are wide.

"Calm down. I just choked on a bit of food, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, she's okay, man. I'm sitting right here. If anything was wrong I would have taken care of it..." Ruin says and you turn your head slowly to look at him then back at Gideon.  _Oh boy..._

Gideon clenches his jaw, probably holding back a lot and then smiles. "I was just making sure. Can't have anything happening to one of our best." He puts his hand on your shoulder and you smile up at him stiffly then you look at Ruin nervously.

"No worries, Captain, I'll take great care of her," Ruin says calmly. You see that Gideon is clenching his jaw even more, ready to explode so you cut in. "Ruin, you ready for that tour?"

He takes his eyes off of Gideon and they soften when he looks at you. "Sure am."

You smile. "Good. Let's go."

When he stands and walks to the trashcan Gideon follows his every move with hate in his eyes.

"You two can't be like this towards each other," you whisper angrily.

"Tell him that." Gideon uses his head to point to Ruin who is now standing outside waiting for you.

"No. You both are grown men..start acting like it. Simple as that." You stand and throw your trash away leaving Gideon with his thoughts.

 

**Ruin's POV**

Angry wasn't even close to describing what he felt right now.

That asshole tried to make me look bad in front of her. Captain or not, he had to say something back. Ruin shakes his head and turns to see [y/n] heading towards him and he smiles.

There's no smile on her face though.

"Before you say anything, I was only defending myself. That guy has a stick up his ass or something." She looks at him. "Let's just go."

Ruin wasn't going to speak. He was going to let her cool down and let her speak to him first. She stops suddenly. "Wait a minute...Irons always gives everyone a tour when they first get here. You've already seen the entire base, haven't you?"  _Fuck..._

"I've only known you for two days and you're already lying to me!" Her finger is poking at his chest, but he doesn't feel a thing. Its kinda cute.

"I didn't necessarily lie to you..."

She squints her eyes at him.

"Okay, the tour part was a lie, but I  _am_ trying to learn more about this place. One little tour isn't going to help me."

She sighs and they are both quiet for awhile. "Do you ever get tired of all that whirring?"

Ruin laughs. "What?"

"The cybernetics. When I stand close to you or when its quiet enough I can hear them working."  _Does this mean she isn't mad anymore?_

"I don't even hear it anymore to be honest."

"And what are those weird things with the handles on your back?" He reaches back and pulls them out to show her. "These are called gravity spikes."

She reaches out to touch one. "May I?"

"Of course." He holds one closer to her and she runs her little hand over one.  _So delicate._ "They look heavy. Are they?" She asks.

"Well, to me, no. To you or anyone else they probably would be." He tells her.

"How do they work?"

"I can't really show because they would cause too much damage, but I'll try my best to explain. Come here." Ruin turns her so that her back is against his chest. "Put your hands over mine." Her little hands barely fit over his.

"Now, ideally I would do this after jumping off of something tall, like a building..."

"You jump off of buildings?" she asks bemusedly.

"Not every day. I try not to make a habit out of it." She laughs and he continues. "This is the fun part...when I hit the ground I  _thrust_ these down into the ground..." When he says thrust he moves his hands to show her the motion and she gasps. "It sends a shockwave and that's that." _  
_

"Wow, that sounds pretty cool, but if you can't actually use them here, why do you carry them around?" She looks at him, eyebrows raised.

"Good conversation pieces." Ruin smiles and she shakes her head. "Your body, alone, is a good conversation starter." She immediately groans and covers her face. "I'm sorry. That was a weird thing to say and it was rude. I'm sorry."

Ruin looks around and shrugs, "Its fine, really. You can make it up to me."

"Can I? How?"

He pulls her into a small space between two of the buildings. They both fit, but he is pressed up against her and her back is against the wall.

"Like this." He holds both her hands above her head with one of his and kisses her. She makes the most glorious sounds as his kisses her and places his free hand at the small of her back to bring her even closer.

She's struggling to move her hands. "I want to touch you," she whines.

"If I let you do that we'll be here all day." Ruin had to get a hold of himself. Why did she have this effect on him?

She grinds against him and he moans. A smile appears on her face from her small victory, but he wipes that smile off her face when he grinds back harder, letting her feel...everything. "Oh my..." she says shakily and bites her lip.

They had to get out of there. This was too much. With one more kiss he releases her and walks back out into the open. She fixes her clothes and her hair and comes out to stand next to him.

Ruin had tons of pent up frustration..and other things which is why he was always working out. There was another way he could let it out, but there was no way he'd do that to her. She seemed so fragile, so delicate.

That kiss was a mistake. It only made him want her more. It's only been two days, but he was crazy about her. She was more dangerous than any enemy he had ever faced. His frustration was tenfold now.

"I'm sorry," he says. Did he mean it?

"Don't be." He looks at her and she smiles. "Do you kiss every girl you meet like that?"

Ruin smiles. "Haven't kissed a girl like that in a very long time."

"So I should consider myself lucky then?" She was teasing now.

"That's all up to you, sweetheart." 

She shrugs. "We'll see." He was looking at her again, wanting to snatch her up and carry her off somewhere.

"You okay?" He asks her. She nods, "I'm fine, I just need to...cool down." Ruin turns his head and smiles smugly.

She starts to walk away. "I hope you enjoyed that tour."

"It was definitely much better than the one Irons gave me. A very different ending." Ruin says laughing.

"Great. I'll see you later...Donnie." She walks away and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He needed her. Her wanted her more than anything.

She's dangerous and she doesn't even know it...


	4. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You tell Ilona what's happened and Gideon confronts Ruin..

**-Your POV-**

You walk with your head held high until you turn the corner and away from Ruin's gaze. Letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, you lean against one of the buildings.

"What the hell?" This can't be happening. They both kissed you. Gideon  _and_ Ruin. Fuck!

Now you didn't know what to do.

Did you enjoy both kisses? Yes. Yes you did. 

Did you feel wrong for enjoying both? Sorta.

You start walking again. Ilona would love to hear about this...You speed walk to the building where she lives and take the stairs two at a time to get to her room. You knock on her door frantically.

"What the fuck?!" she says angrily swinging the door open. "Oh, you." Ilona smiles, looks at you face, then frowns. "What's happened to you? Come in."

She watches as you pace her room not speaking. "[Y/N]! Hello? What happened to you?" she asks again. You stop pacing and look at her. "He kissed me," you say, not specifying who.

"Who kissed you? Gideon?!" Ilona moves closer to you. You nod.

"And?"

"And...Ruin did, too." Groaning, you fall backwards onto her bed. Ilona squeals and jumps on the bed next to you. "I'm glad you're so excited about it..." you say frowning at her.

"I feel like we're having a sleepover and we're telling all our secrets! How was it?"

You prop yourself up on your elbows and look at Ilona. "It was...both kisses were very...nice." You say the last word as if you're asking a question.

"That's not good enough. More details," Ilona says eyes wide with excitement.

"I knew you would love this." You lay back down and drape your arm over your face. "They both obviously like to be in control since they both had me pinned against a wall. Well, Gideon pinned me against the door, but same idea..."

"Gideon pinned you against the door?!" Ilona asks.

"Yes, after confessing his love for me. First, he grabbed and kissed me so..."

"Oh my god. What about Ruin? I can totally see him being rough." Ilona has the biggest smile on her face.

"I was giving him a tour which he already had, by the way, then he showed me how to use his gravity spikes."

"Is that what they call it now?" she asks laughing.

"Let me finish. I had said something about his body being a conversation piece and I realized that was a horrible thing to say. I apologized then he told me I could make it up to him. That's when he pulled me between two buildings, pinned me to the wall, held my hands above my head, and kissed me." You finish.

Ilona's mouth is hanging open and you shake your head. "Which did you like better?" You knew she would ask that. You shrug,"I don't know. I didn't know it was a competition though Gideon did say he would do anything to win me over."

"He means it. He is one stubborn, headstrong old man, but Ruin is going to be a challenge for him." Ilona looks at you. "You have two men pining for you, you little bitch." She laughs and you can't help but laugh along with her.

"I don't know if I feel lucky though. This could end up being pretty dangerous..." Your smile fades.

"Listen, we have to take risks in our lives. Shit, being in the military is one huge risk that we all took. Your situation is not dangerous just risky, but you are the one in power. You can end it whenever you want." Ilona finishes and you feel a little better.

"You're right, but I still don't know what to do. You should see the tension between Gideon and Ruin. I thought they were going to kill each other this morning."

"Men are going to be men. Gideon probably feels that you belong to him, which you don't, but like he said, he's going to do anything to win you over."

"You don't think he'd hurt anyone, do you?" You ask nervously.

"I don't think so. I mean he has the reputation of being a hothead, but I've never seen him just hurt anyone for no reason."

"He kinda has a reason to now though, doesn't he?" You hug yourself. Ilona grabs your shoulders, "Stop overthinking. You're young, you're single. You are allowed to have fun."

You nod. "I think I've almost forgotten how to have fun."

"Just stop thinking so much and live. Any day can be your last. You don't want to die knowing that you haven't had sex in a year." Ilona bursts into laughter.

"I thought you were going to say something deep and meaningful!" you say.

"Being deep and meaningful all the time gets boring. I like to talk about men and sex and everything else sometimes."

"Understandable. Can I stay here tonight? I don't want to risk going back to my room and having one of them show up. I couldn't handle it right now."

"Of course you can stay, but get ready for lots of sex talk." Ilona says.

"Oh no...."

**-Ruin's POV-**

Ruin wasn't sure if he had recovered from that kiss yet. He shouldn't have done that.  _Thinking with the wrong head again._

[Y/N] didn't seem to mind though. The way she kissed back and pushed her body against his...oh man. He knew he should probably stay away, but he wouldn't be able to. He was drawn to her.

Was she drawn to him?  _Obviously..._ he hoped.

Something was bothering him though. Gideon seemed to be overprotective of her. He did know her longer but...that didn't mean he automatically got to have her.

Ruin knew he was a hothead and Gideon seemed like one too. "Shit," he says quietly. Now all he could do was think.

Did [y/n] and Gideon have history? She didn't act like they did, but he sure did. All men probably acted like that around her. She was beautiful and inquisitive and Ruin wanted her.

 _You've only just met the girl..._ Something was there though, he felt it and she had to feel it too. What if he scared her away? He would just have to wait to find out.

**-A FEW HOURS LATER-**

He trained for a few hours then he went to get dinner. Maybe he'd see her there.

As he sits down to eat, he watches the door closely, but there's no sign of her. That other woman walks in though...Ilona, he thinks. She seems to be grabbing food to take with her. She meets his eye, nods and smiles smugly before walking out.  _What was that about?_

Ruin shakes his head and starts to eat again when he spots Gideon walking in with Mitchell. He tries to eat his food a little faster, keeping his eyes down. He didn't want any trouble tonight, it had been a good day, better than he's had in a long time.

"Ruin!" he hears and he groans out loud before looking up at Mitchell's smiling face and Gideon's not-so-happy face. "Evenin' fellas, how's it going?" Ruin asks trying to stay as civil as possible.

Only Mitchell answers, "Pretty good," he sits. "You haven't seen [y/n] have you?"

Ruin swallows a mouthful of food quickly. "Yeah, but that was a few hours ago."

"She's usually at dinner around this time. I hope she's okay," Mitchell says looking towards the door.

Gideon finally speaks. "I'm sure she's fine."

"She was perfectly fine when I last saw her," Ruin says reassuring Mitchell.

Mitchell takes a bite of food then asks, "What were you guys doing?"

He takes a quick look at Gideon who might as well be throwing daggers at him. "She, uh, gave me a tour."

Gideon snorts. "Irons gives everyone a tour when they get here..."

"Yeah, but I wanted another one, a more thorough one." Ruin looks Gideon right in the eye as he takes a bite of food.  _Don't start anything, Donnie._ He had to get out of there before he really got himself in trouble. "Well, I'm off guys. Have a good one." Mitchell says goodnight and Gideon just stares.

Ruin throws his trash away and walks out, glad to get away from all that tension. 

He starts walking to the barracks when he hears someone shout "Hey!"...with an accent. Ruin sighs and turns slowly to see Gideon walking quickly and angrily towards him.  _Here we go, Donnie boy._

"Cap-" he starts but Gideon cuts him off. "What do you think you're playing at?"

Ruin shrugs. "I don't know what you mean, sir."

Gideon moves closer to him. "Stay away from her."

He looks down at the shorter man. "I think its a little too late for that, Captain." Gideon squints, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"That really isn't any of your business, sir. Now, I'm going to walk away because I don't want any problems and I'm very tired." Ruin backs away from Gideon and turns to walk away. Over his shoulder he shouts, "You should get some rest, Captain. You seem a little tense."

Gideon was pissed, he knew it, but he had to defend himself. Donnie Walsh does not get talked down to. Besides, he didn't want to hurt the old man.

_Starting trouble your second day here, that's a record._

Ruin shakes his head. Trouble seemed to follow him everywhere he went.


	5. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things finally explode between Ruin and Gideon...

**-Your POV-**

You wake with a start. Your head hurt and you really didn't feel well.  _Probably just lack of sleep..._

The tension between Gideon and Ruin was bothering you.  _I am causing this tension._

Ilona did say men will be men, but it scared you.  _What have I gotten myself into?_ You turn over and Ilona is looking at you. "What are you thinking about?"

"Ruin and Gideon looked like they were ready to kill each other yesterday at breakfast," you say worriedly.

"What does that have to with you?"she asks.

"Everything. I don't want anyone getting hurt over me." You stare at ceiling. "I wish men would fight over me," Ilona says trying to cheer you up. "Who do you like more?"

You turn your head quickly, staring at her in disbelief. "I'm not answering that."

"Why not?"

"Because...I can't. I don't know. I mean, I've only just met Ruin...and Gideon, well, he took so long to tell me how he felt. I had already given up on pursuing him." You let out a long sigh and cover your face. "Can I just run away? Disappear? Something!"

Ilona laughs. "If only we could get away from all our problems that easily. Look, you're not going anywhere because this is where you belong and...I would miss you." She says the last part just above a whisper, but you heard her perfectly.

"Awww, Ilona! Come here!" You go to hug her and kiss her cheek, but she groans and tries to push you away. "I don't know where those lips have been!" she says and you both laugh.

 

You stall at Ilona's place as long as you can until you eventually realize you'll have to face Gideon and Ruin at some point. Luckily, you don't run into either of them on the way back to your room.

After showering, you read a little, but your head is still bothering you so you try to sleep. Your phone rings, waking you up. You answer is groggily.  _I'm not feeling well at all._ "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Gideon," the familiar, accented voice says.  _Fuck._ You sit up quickly...too quickly. "Ugh," you say out loud.

"Am I bothering you?" Gideon asks.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I just have a headache."

"Did you take anything for it?"  _No, dad._

"Haven't had a chance to. I just woke up when you called."  _I REALLY don't feel well..._

"I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry." Gideon really sounds upset over waking you. "Gideon, its fine, you didn't know. So what's up?" You lay back down.

"I wanted to apologize for how I was at breakfast yesterday."  _I don't want to talk about this right now._ "Don't worry about it. I'm not upset anymore."  _Men will be men._ You groan again.

"Are you sure you're okay, [y/n]? I can bring you something if you like." Gideon wasn't going to let up.

"I have aspirin here. I'll take some and I'll be fine, don't waste your time worrying about me, Captain." The truth was you couldn't face him yet, especially after what happened between you and Ruin.

"Its not a waste of time, you know that. I'd do anything for you." Did Gideon just say that? Was he secretly a hopeless romantic? You stopped yourself from saying "Awww" and smiled to yourself instead. "That's really sweet of you, Gideon, but I promise I'll be okay. Don't worry."

Gideon sighs, defeated. "If you say so. You're just as stubborn as I am." He laughs quietly.

"I guess I am. I learn from the best, you know." You laugh but it makes your head hurt.

"Well, if you need anything don't hesitate to call me. I'll drop whatever I'm doing..."

"Okay, okay Gideon. I will definitely call you if I need anything, I swear. Bye Captain." After hanging up, you get up slowly and find some aspirin to take.

You didn't have anything important to do today.  _Good._ Today you were going to rest and maybe tomorrow you'd feel better. It's probably just stress and not getting enough rest, you didn't get sick.

You silence your phone, curl up under your blanket, and eventually falls asleep.

 

**-Gideon's POV-**

He didn't believe her. Could she actually be lying to him?

Gideon couldn't help but think that Ruin was with her. After all, he did say something about [y/n] giving him a more thorough tour...whatever that meant. When he told Ruin to stay away from her, he said it was too late. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but something wasn't right and he was going to figure it out.

_You're being crazy. What if she really isn't feeling well?_

If they are together, what would he do? What  _could_ he do? Throw a fit over a woman who isn't his in the first place...

Gideon was stubborn to a fault and he was not giving her up that easily. He puts his beanie on and makes his way to her room.

Should he just confront her about Ruin? Maybe when she's feeling better.

Gideon finds himself becoming more uneasy as he gets closer. I just want to check on her. _No you don't. You want to make sure she isn't with Ruin._ He sighs loudly as he enters the building.

He approaches her door and tries to think of what to say when she answers,  _if_ she answers. He knocks a few times and doesn't hear any movement or hushed voices.  _That's a good sign, but why isn't she answering?_

Gideon knocks again a little louder this time and he finally hears something. The door opens slightly and he looks down into a sleepy pair of eyes. "G-Gideon? What are you doing here?" she asks with a yawn.

"I'm sorry, I've woken you up...I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He realizes how stupid he must sound.

"I told you I'd call you if I needed anything." She sniffles a little.  _I hope she isn't getting sick._

"You're right, I'm sorry." Gideon starts to walk away, but she calls him back.

"I'll let you come in for a little while, but don't complain if you end up sick next." He steps inside and she lays back down with a sigh. "Sorry I didn't have a chance to get all dolled up, I wasn't expecting company," she says. Gideon laughs. "You look fine, really."

"Don't lie to me. I feel like shit so I definitely know I look it."

He looks at her. She was still the most wonderful thing he'd ever laid eyes on even if she was pale and her hair disheveled. "You should go to the infirmary." Gideon walks to her bed and sits. He brushes the hair back from her face and feels her forehead. "You're burning up!" he says alarmed.

"It will pass. I don't get sick, Gideon," she says trying to sound strong.

"You don't get sick? You  _are_ sick!"

"I don't want to go to the damn infirmary."

Gideon looks at her and she's pouting like a child so he laughs. "You look and sound like a baby right now."

"Shut up."

"We're going. I'll walk you over, let's go." He says it gently, but it was a command. She wasn't well and he didn't want to see her this way.

"Gideonnnnnnnnnn," she whines. "Can't I just stay in bed? I told you, it'll pass."

"Are you a doctor now?"

"No, but.." She's interrupted by a knock on the door.

 

**-Ruin's POV-**

Ruin had decided to go see [y/n] after not seeing her at breakfast or lunch. He hoped she wasn't avoiding him because of that kiss. One of the best damn kisses he ever had. He smiled to himself as he walked to her room.

Before he knocked, Ruin could have sworn he heard her talking to someone. He shrugged. She was probably on the phone.

When the door opens, he has to blink a few times to process what he's seeing. Why was Gideon answering her door? Why was he even here? Ruin looks past Gideon and sees [y/n] in bed, she looks shocked but tired. She sits up quickly then holds her head. "Donnie, what are you doing here?" she asks.

"I'll make him leave if you want me to." Gideon looks at Ruin while he says this.

"Gideon stop."

"You better listen to her, old man." Ruin is seeing red now.

"You still didn't answer her question,  _Donnie._ What are you doing here?" Gideon sneers.

"I could ask you the same thing... _Gideon_."

"Guys...stop."[Y/N] stands up, but looks as though she's going to fall back over.

"I didn't come to start any problems. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Ruin ignores Gideon for the time being.

"I'm okay, well, not exactly, but I will be." She smiles at him and he smiles back. She looks so tired and pale though, something was wrong. "Are you sick?" Ruin asks. She nods but before she can speak Gideon cuts in, "She is sick. I was just about to take her to the infirmary so if you'll excuse us." Gideon starts to close the door, but Ruin shoves it back open.

"First of all, this ain't your place so if she wants me to leave, she can tell me herself. Secondly, watch yourself. I don't care if you're a fucking Captain. If you have a problem with me, let me know so we can deal with it." Ruin is shaking.

[Y/N] walks over as fast as she can. "Please, you two, can we just chill? Just cool down." She looks so nervous. Gideon looks at her and says sorry before throwing the first punch.

Ruin hears her shout as he rights himself after the hit. "I don't want to do this, man. I'll hurt you." He wipes blood from his lip.

"Gideon, please.." She grabs his arm, but he snatches it away. Gideon throws another punch, but this time Ruin is ready and he blocks it. He counters with a right hook and then a left hook, knocking the old man to the floor. "You done?!" Ruin stands over him.

[Y/N] steps in front of him and pushes him away. "Just fucking stop! Both of you!"

All of the commotion has drawn a crowd. Ruin looks at her and tears are streaming down her face. As he is about to apologize to her, Gideon charges him and tackles him to the ground. The old man was small but strong. Ruin is blocking as many hits as he can when he sees her run over and try to pull Gideon off.

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?! Stop!!" Her face is dangerously close to Gideon's arm... _shit._ As Gideon brings his arm back to throw another punch, his elbow hits [y/n] in the face and she stumbles back holding her nose.

Ruin forces Gideon off of him, flipping him over and holding him down. He punches Gideon one more time then holds him by his shirt. "You just hit her!! You fucking hit her!" He can't help but to punch him again.

He turns to her now, "Are you okay?" He moves towards her and she backs away.

Gideon stands and finally realizes what he's done. Her hands are covered in blood from her nose. Some of the people from the crowd start asking if she is okay, bringing her tissues. "I think it's broken," Ruin hears someone say.

He looks at Gideon and he's staring at [y/n] in horror. She moves away from the crowd closer to the two of them. "I told you two to stop!" She's trembling now, looking even worse than she did before. "Why didn't you just stop?"

Ruin approaches her again. "Calm down, okay? You're shaking and not breathing properly." He's able to grab her right before she falls to the ground. "Someone get some help!" he shouts holding her limp body.

He looks up at Gideon who still hasn't moved from that spot. "I didn't mean to..." he says, completely distraught. 

As help arrives, Ruin stands there helpless as they put her on the stretcher. They start wheeling her away and he follows.

He looks back one more time and Gideon isn't there.  _Good riddance._


	6. Tomorrow Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ilona and Ruin come to visit you, but there is no sign of Gideon.  
> Things progress between you and Ruin.

**-Your POV-**

_"Stop fighting!" You shout but they don't stop._

_You try to pull Gideon off then his elbow crashes into your nose. As you reach up to grab your nose, a strong hand stops you and your eyes open..._

 

You blink a few times until Ruin's face becomes clearer then you look around.  _The hospital._ There's an IV in your arm, your head is pounding, and your face hurts, your nose mostly. You try to touch it again, but Ruin stops you this time, too.

"Let go," you say weakly. There was no way you could break your hands loose from his grip. "Stop trying to touch your nose and I will." Ruin stares at you and you nod. He lets you go, but doesn't move away. He has bruises on his face and a bloody lip, but he probably doesn't even feel the pain. You don't feel bad for him though, you're angry.

"Are you and Gideon happy now that you've beaten the crap out of each other? Must feel great." Your head starts pounding more and you feel nauseous. Ruin notices you wincing and closing your eyes. "Don't work yourself up. Doctor says you're suffering from exhaustion or burnout. You've been feeling sick because you're so stressed out. How long have you been like this?" He looks genuinely worried and you're about to cave, but you're still angry.

"I can't believe you two..."

"You two?" Ruin scoffs and shakes his head. "Do you even remember what happened? Your little Captain attacked me first! Was I supposed to just stand there and let him hit me like some punching bag?" The volume of his voice is getting higher and there's a vein throbbing in his neck. Maybe you should have stayed quiet.

"Yeah, maybe I could have turned the other cheek, but that asshole probably would have hit that one, too. Donnie Walsh ain't gonna stand around and not fight back. I'm sorry, that's just who I am. I would like for you to stop putting all the blame on me..." His face is red and he's breathing heavily, but he's trying to calm down. "I'm a hothead but so is that Captain of yours. Or do you not see that because you're in love with him?"

Your head pops up causing the room to spin. You wait for everything to stop spinning before you speak. "I won't lie to you, there was a time when I was and I do still have feelings for him."

Ruin looks a little uncomfortable. "Do you guys have some history? Have you ever...?"

"We've never dated and no, I've never had sex with him if that's what you were going to ask." You smile when you see how relieved he is.

"Why does he act like that when it comes to you then?" he asks.

"He loves me." You shrug and looks down. Ruin looks away so you take this chance to touch your nose. There's a bandage across it and it's pretty damn sore. "Ow," you say quietly.

"Dammit, [y/n], I told you not to touch it!" He pulls your hand away quickly.

"I must really look like shit."

"You don't." He sits down on the bed.

"Don't lie. I know I'm all bruised up." You sigh. 

"Yeah, but that'll go away and besides, you're still fuckin hot." Ruin laughs and you notice that he is still holding your hand. You look down at his hand. The only other time you've seen something like this up close was when Mitchell showed you his arm. Ruin's entire upper body seemed to be augmented, it was...different.

His hands are so big compared to yours. You'd thought his hands would be cold, but they were warm...and smooth.

Ruin moves closer, until his breath mingles with yours.

"Ah, [y/n], you're awake." The doctor walks in and Ruin stands quickly and moves away from the bed. "The last time we checked, your fever had went down, but you're still very weak." The doctor stands over you, poking and prodding, what doctors do best.

"Do you think I can get something for this headache, doc? And can this IV come out?" You ask.

"I can definitely get you some medicine for the headache, but the IV stays. You are still pretty dehydrated."

"Ugh, fine." 

The doctor smiles and leaves. A nurse comes in with a syringe and injects it into the IV. When the nurse leaves, Ruin comes back over and sits. "That's gonna kick in pretty fast. Might knock you out." He holds your hand again, it feels good. "I'll leave so you can get some rest." He stands but still doesn't let go of your hand.

"Can you stay until I fall asleep? Please?" You sound desperate but you don't care, you didn't want to be alone right now.

"Of course I can." Ruin leans in and kisses you gently. You look at him. He's still so close. "Thank you," you say and kiss him again.

You don't remember much after that, the medicine must have kicked in, but you do remember the warm, metallic hand holding yours as you fell asleep.

 

**-Ruin's POV-**

Ruin held her hand until she fell asleep and then some. He couldn't make himself leave even after a few minutes of just watching her sleep.

He eventually let go of her hand and brushed her hair out of her face. Seeing her bruised and in pain bothered him more than anything. She didn't deserve this, she deserved so much better.

As he sat there and watched her sleep, Ilona came in quietly. Ruin didn't know how long she was there, but she cleared her throat and he turned quickly. "Oh, hey."

"Hello there," Ilona says walking over slowly. "How is she?"

"She's...okay. Doc gave her some pain meds and she's been out ever since." Ruin answers.

"What did the doctor say was wrong with her?" Ilona asks.

"Stress and exhaustion mostly. She pretty much burned out then..." Ruin stops. He keeps thinking about her stumbling back holding her nose, the stunned look on her face, the blood on her hands.

"Then what?" Ilona asks.

"Gideon and I...he punched me so I hit him back then he tackled me. [Y/N] was trying to pull him off and she got hurt. Gideon hit her...accidentally." Ruin made sure to add the 'accidentally' but it didn't make him feel any better. Ilona puts a hand on his shoulder. "She'll be okay. Gideon probably feels like shit."

"He should! Don't try to make me feel bad for that asshole." He stands and walks to the window. 

Ilona grabs [y/n]'s hand. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but you know it was a mistake. Gideon would never hurt her."

"I really don't want to hear that right now." Ruin did not want to turn this into a conversation about Gideon. "She's my best friend, you know," Ilona says looking at her. "I just wish she wouldn't do such stupid things sometimes." She laughs but it's a sad laugh.

Ruin walks over to the bed and touches [y/n]'s cheek gently. She stirs in her sleep and presses her cheek to his hand, smiling lightly. "She likes you," Ilona says with a smile. "Unless she's dreaming of someone else."

"Nice way to ruin a moment." Ruin says and she laughs and shrugs. "Sorry." Ilona stays for a few minutes more then she leaves, but before that she says, "Go get some rest, she's not going anywhere. She'll be okay." Ruin only nods and looks back at her.

He's lost track of time and he hasn't eaten at all, but he can't leave her. 

The sun is just starting to set when she wakes up. "Donnie, you're still here?" she says sleepily.

"Yeah I am."

"Watching me sleep? You creep." She laughs and he makes a face at her. Sitting up, she presses her head to his chest. He hesitates but wraps his arms around her.

Ruin can't remember the last time he's held someone, but he likes holding her. She gasps and looks up at him. "What?"

"I can hear your heart," she says excitedly.

"Well, I hope so." He laughs.

"I just thought...well, I don't know. I'm still learning about this, about you."

He holds her chin and lifts her head. "My god, you're adorable." She giggles and blushes and tries to turn away, but he holds her chin steady. "May I kiss you?" She nods almost as if she's in a trance.

Ruin kisses her gently but passionately. "I'm sorry," he says between kisses.

"For what?"

"For what happened today, for what happened to you."

"Okay," she says and starts kissing him again. She nibbles on his lip and he growls, sending a rumble through both of their bodies. He pulls away suddenly. "Fuck...[y/n]..."

"What's wrong? she asks innocently. "Did I do something wrong?" Ruin looks at her. "No. You did everything right. _Too_ right." She looks at him, confused.

"If I don't stop kissing you I'm gonna end up taking you right here and I don't think you want that." Ruin stands awkwardly trying to adjust himself without being too obvious. He hears her laugh behind him. When he turns to look at her, she tries to hold back her laugh.

"Its not funny." He says. Her eyes trail down his body and they widen when she finds what she's looking for.

"Like what you see?" Ruin raises his eyebrows and she blushes furiously. "Um..is..." She can't even form a full sentence, but he decides to tease her. "It's all me. No enhancements, no augmentations. 100% flesh and blood."

Ruin smiles and [y/n] bites her lip. "Stop biting your lip or I'll give you a reason to."

"Oh," she says quietly.

They're staring at each other. Ruin  can feel the heat between them...then a nurse walks in with a food tray. "Time for dinner, [y/n]."

"Oh, okay. Do you know when I'll be able to leave?" she asks the nurse, but she's looking at him the entire time."Tomorrow night possibly," the nurse says before leaving.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow night," Ruin says as he walks to the door.

"It's a date," she says.  _Just like last time._

He leaves with a huge smile on his face...among other things. He was going to make sure he gave her a night she would never forget.


	7. You Win Some, You Lose Some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon finally comes to visit you in the hospital the day you're leaving and he shows ANOTHER side you haven't seen before. Ruin shows you a good time..

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon needed to apologize, but he couldn't even face her.

He fucking  _hit_ her. 

She tried to stop him before things got really bad, but destroying Ruin had been the only thing on his mind. When Ruin shouted "You hit her!" that's when Gideon came back to his senses. He watched as she bled and eventually collapsed.

_I stood there and did nothing..._

Go talk to her, that's what he had to do. He hadn't been himself since it happened. Hardly eating, not sleeping. Her bloody hands and nose were all he saw when every time he closed his eyes.  _I really didn't mean to._ Go tell her that.

Gideon walks to the hospital. He had to stop himself from turning back at least three times.

He told the woman at the desk who he was looking for and she told him which room to go to. Walking down the hall to that room was the hardest thing he's ever done.

When he walks into the room, her head is turned towards the window. Gideon clears his throat, she turns and smiles, but it fades quickly. His heart sinks when he sees the bruising around her nose.  _I probably broke it._

That smile she gave him was for someone else...that hurt.

He'd been standing in the same place for awhile and she didn't say anything to him.  _You say something._

Walking a little further into the room, Gideon pulls his beanie off and attempts to smile. "How are you?" he asks. "I'm...better, thanks." She gives him a small smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

She is not as pale as she was and she definitely looked stronger, but it was the bruising that bothered him. Gideon felt like something was stuck in his throat so he cleared it again. "I wanted to come sooner but..."

"Gideon, its okay, you don't have to explain." She looks at him then down at her hands. He closed his eyes and that weird feeling in his throat came back. "I-I'm sorry, [y/n]." It came out almost like a sob, but Gideon didn't cry, did he?

When he opened his eyes again everything was blurry, but he could see her staring at him in shock. "Gideon..."

"I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I should have stopped....I shouldn't have even started.  _Fuck me..._ " He wiped his eyes and looked away. He couldn't believe this, he was  _crying._ When he looked back at [y/n] she was crying, too.

"I know you didn't mean to. I shouldn't have tried to stop you the way I did, but I was so scared. I've never seen you like that, Gideon. I don't like it..."

Gideon isn't sure what to say so he just walks over to her and hugs her. She sobs quietly in his arms and he fights back more tears. He finally pulls away and she manages another smile. "Sorry for crying all over your shirt."

"Don't worry about it." Gideon smiles for the first time in what feels like ages."So when do you get out of here? You're looking much better."

"Tonight actually. I can't wait."

He can tell how happy she is by the smile on her face. "That's great! We should celebrate." He looks at her for an answer and the smile is gone again.  _Why does she keep doing that?_

"I, um, already have plans tonight, but definitely some other time."

Gideon nods feeling as though he'd just been slapped. "Some other time then."

His whole world felt like it was falling apart again. He knew he should have come to see her sooner.

A nurse comes in to bring her some lunch and Gideon takes that as his cue to leave. "I'll see you soon," he says putting his beanie back on.

"For sure. Thanks for coming to see me." She smiles at him again and it almost,  _almost_ makes him feel better.

"No problem. Enjoy your lunch and have a good night." Gideon walks out of the room feeling like he was going to cry again.  _You knew what would happen. You can't blame anyone but yourself._

That's what hurt him the most. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't Ruin's fault no matter how much he hated him. The fault was his and his alone and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

**Your POV**

Gideon cried. 

Gideon apologized.

Gideon  _cried?_

You sat there staring at your sandwich replaying everything that just happened. He was genuinely sorry. You knew he didn't do it on purpose, but like you told him, it was scary. Sure, your Captain was a feisty, but  _that_...that was something totally different.  _Enough thinking about that. Eat your food._

You eat your sandwich in silence and start to think about Ruin. What did he have planned? If anything happened, Ilona would never let you live it down. Oh well.

After lunch, the time seemed to drag on. When the sun finally started to set, you patiently waited for the doctor to come in and give you the all clear. About twenty minutes later, the doctor gives you one last check up, you're allowed to sign your release papers and get the hell out of there.

You rush back to your room to shower and put some nice but casual clothes on. Your phone rings as you brush your hair.  _Ilona._ "Hello, Ilona."

"Are you out?" she asks.

"Yes. I'm doing well, thanks. How are you?" 

She laughs. "Ruin asked me for your number so I gave it to him. Hope you don't mind."

"No, that's okay." You want to tell her about Gideon, but you didn't want to be stuck on the phone talking about that for too long right now. You had to get ready. "Listen Ilona, I'm still pretty tired do I'm gonna get some rest, okay?"

"No problem. Call me whenever you can." Ilona hangs up. 

You feel bad about lying to her, but that was a conversation for another time. You look in the mirror. Skinny jeans and a tank top, that was fine. Ruin wasn't taking you out or anything, at least you didn't think so.

Your phone rings again and its a number you don't recognize.  _Must be him._ "Hello?"

"Hey there," the familiar voice says. "You out of the hospital yet?"

"Yup, I'm already back at my room."

"Awesome. I got us a couple of beers and stuff. Your place or mine?" Ruin asks and you're not sure what to tell him. "You know what, I'll come to you. You're probably still a little worn out from everything. I wouldn't want anything happening to you."

"Okay, that's fine."

"I'll try to come by when its a little darker so I don't stand out as much." Ruin laughs.

"Good idea. I'll be waiting."

"I hope I won't disappoint, sweetheart," he says and you get chills. Before you start to daydream you tell him you'll see him soon and hang up.  _Get yourself together._

You watch TV and try not to check the clock as it gets darker. You're nervous and excited. You check yourself in the mirror once more then a knock on the door startles you. As you open the door, you smooth your hair down and smile up at Ruin. "Come in," you say holding the door for him.

The door closes and you realize you're alone with him. Like _really_  alone.

_This will be interesting..._

 

**Ruin's POV**

Ruin could see how nervous she got once the door closed.

They had been alone before, but not quite like this. He was a little nervous too, but he wasn't going to let her see that. She looks at the bags in his hands. "What did you get us?"

"Well, I wasn't sure what you liked so there's some Guinness, Blue Moon, and Bud Light. If you wanna be really bad, I got some Jameson." He starts pulling things out of the bags and hands her a Bud Light, he assumed that was more her speed. 

She rolls her eyes and reaches around to grab a Guinness. "Thanks."

Ruin laughs and pulls out a pack of plastic shot glasses. "I came prepared."

"Of course you did." She takes a shot glass.

"What's your poison?" he asks and she points to the Jameson. He pours hers first then some for himself and lifts the shot glass to her. "Cheers."

"Cheers," she repeats and downs the shot. Ruin expected her to cough and sputter like some other people, but she didn't. He was impressed. "Yummy," she says with an adorable smile.

Picking up her Guinness, she starts to look around for a bottle opener. "I know I have one here somewhere." 

He could easily open it for her, but was enjoying watching her walk around. Finally her says, "Give it here" and pops the cap right off. She smiles at him, loosening up a bit, but still nervous.

"So how are you feeling?" he asks.

"I'm feeling better. I just wish the bruises would go away." She reaches to touch her nose and he stops her.

"Don't." Ruin holds on to her hand a little longer than necessary. Her pupils dilate and she licks her lips quickly. "Um, let's have another shot, huh?"

"Whatever you like."

The minutes turn into hours and [y/n] is much more outgoing and flirty. She's singing along to some song on the radio and standing on her bed dancing. Ruin was willing himself to stay in the chair.  _Don't you dare._

She looks at him and he motions her over with his finger. "Okay, okay." [Y/N] steps off the bed on wobbly legs and sits across from him. "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Ruin asks genuinely interested.

"Um, well I did, but it didn't work out. I think I'm a little too hardheaded, too stubborn. Men don't like it."

"It's not that. You just have to find a guy that can handle you." As he says this, his eyes trail down her body. That shirt and those jeans fit her just right.

"Let's play Never Have I Ever!" she says enthusiastically.

"With two people?" Ruin asks.

"That just makes it more fun, don't you think? Pour us a few shots. I'll go first! Hmmm...Never have I ever killed someone." They both take a shot and he looks at her in shock. "Really?"

"I'm in the military just like you, Donnie. I've had to do things I really didn't want to."

He nods and she looks at him, her eyes a little unfocused. God, he wanted her.  _Keep it together, Donnie._ "What are you thinking about?" she asks tilting her head to the side.  _Kissing you again..._ Ruin shakes his head, "Nothing. My turn...Never have I ever made out with someone in the space between two buildings." She bursts into laughter then drinks, as does he.

"That was oddly specific," she says laughing again.

"I couldn't think of anything else." Ruin sits back in the chair and looks at her. 

"What?"

"Nothing, just....looking." he says.

She drinks some more. "Truth or dare?" she says. "I thought we were playing Never Have I Ever."

"Just pick one."

"Okay. Truth." Ruin answers.

She looks at him for a long time before speaking. "Do you want to kiss me again?" He stares at her then looks at her lips, "Yes." She stands a little off-balance. "Okay then, kiss me."

Ruin stands slowly and closes the space between them in one step. He picks her up, she squeals and laughs, but the laugh is cut short as he starts kissing her. He stops for a moment. "I apologize for anything you may...feel." She smiles against his lips, "Just kiss me, Donnie."

Ruin continues to kiss her. Usually he would be taking her clothes off by now, but for some reason, this kiss was enough. Then she started pulling his hair and biting his lip and he nearly lost control.

He pulls away and puts her down, keeping a hand on her back to steady her. Her face is flushed and her lips are swollen.

"I should get going." Ruin really didn't want to leave, but he would only cause trouble if her stayed.

"Oh okay." She looks down and walks around him to the door.

"[Y/N]..."

She wont look at him.

"[Y/N], you didn't do anything wrong, okay? It's me. I want you more than you know. So fucking bad, but I respect you too much to do this after we've been drinking. One of these days though, I'll show you just how bad, how much I want you." Ruin says trying his hardest not to stare at her pouted lips.

"I understand. I appreciate that...goodnight, Donnie."

He kisses her once more and leaves. 

Good for you, Donnie boy.  _No, what the hell were you thinking?!"_

 _I did the right thing_ Ruin thinks.

As he's walking, he thinks of something that stops him dead in his tracks.

_I left her all hot and bothered. What if she turns to Gideon for relief?_

For the rest of the night Ruin has a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and can't sleep.

_Nice guys finish last, right?_

 


	8. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Gideon's birthday and you know how much he hates celebrating, but you still want to do something for him.

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon was lying in bed wide awake thinking of her, as always.

She had plans...probably with Ruin. That name alone made him angry. [Y/N] could be in his arms right now or..something worse. Gideon rolled over and punched his pillow. What could he do?  _Get rid of Ruin, send him on some faraway mission._ No. The choice was [y/n]'s, he wasn't going to cheat his way into her heart. Besides, she was probably terrified of him right now, it would take awhile for her to come back around.

_Yeah, Gid, you fucked up royally._

Suddenly his phone rings. Who the hell would be calling him after midnight? The name and picture that pop up on his phone has him sitting up quickly and nearly dropping his phone.

He answers. "[Y/N]. Is everything okay? Are you okay?" She laughs. "Yes, Gideon, I'm fine...just a little drunk."

Gideon smiles. Maybe he didn't screw up as bad as he thought, but she  _is_ drunk.  _Don't think of that, just live in the moment._ _  
_

"So what made you call me?"

"What made me call you? It's your birthday, silly! I wanted to be the first to say happy birthday."

_My birthday. Holy shit._

"Did you forget your birthday again, Captain?" she asks.

"Uh, yeah. You know I don't like making a big deal out of it." Gideon wasn't a party person and he had been that was as long as he could remember.

"Well, now that I've reminded you, are you going to celebrate?"

"[Y/N], you know that I don't do the whole party thing. I'm definitely not going to celebrate getting old." Gideon knows he was sounding sorry for himself, but hey, it was true. That salt-and-pepper hair of his was getting even worse.

"You still there?" she asks snapping him out of his reverie. "Yeah, I'm here."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just feeling sorry for myself." Gideon sighs and lays back down.

"How old are you?" she asks.

"I'm 43."

"And you think that's old?"

"It is compared to the rest of you." She snorts, "That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. You're not old. 43 isn't old."

Gideon gives up arguing with her. "Agree to disagree, I guess. Why are you up so late drinking alone?" he asks.  _Unless she wasn't alone._

"I was hanging out with Ruin, he left and I couldn't go to sleep. Now I'm drinking the beer he left behind." 

Gideon wanted to know, but then he  _didn't_ want to know. It was a good sign that Ruin didn't stay over, but that didn't mean nothing happened while he  _was_ there. Gideon felt himself getting angry. "Why didn't he stay?"

She's quiet for a time then says, "I don't know. He's being a good guy, I guess."

"Did you want him to stay?" He doesn't know why he asked that, but he needed to stop NOW.

"It doesn't matter, Gideon. Why are you asking me so many questions about Ruin? Isn't he like your arch enemy?" She sounded frustrated now. "I just wanted to say happy birthday..." she says sadly.

Gideon wanted to punch himself. "I'm sorry, hun. I guess I let jealousy get the best of me."

"You can make it up to me by actually doing something for your birthday. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're sexy,you're experienced, and that you've earned those beautiful gray hairs." He could hear the smile in her voice. Her little pep talk actually made him feel better.

Gideon smiled which is something he didn't do often. "Thanks for the pep talk. I'll try to do something today...emphasis on try."

"That's good enough for me, sir."

"Now stop drinking and go to sleep, that's an order."

She giggles. "Yes, sir. See you at breakfast. By the way, you make 43 look great. Goodnight." She hangs up and Gideon is left laying there grinning like an idiot. He felt as though he had some new found confidence in his age thanks to her.

He rolled over and imagined her laying next to him. Soon he was asleep and dreaming. She was always his in his dream.

 

**Your POV**

After getting off the phone with Gideon you tried to think of something you could do for him for his birthday. This would be much easier if you were sober.

A cake! You can bake him a cake! Your face lights up, but then you remember you're not sure if he likes chocolate, vanilla, strawberry... _oh boy._ Red velvet. Everyone likes red velvet, right? Now go to sleep like Gideon told you to so you can actually function in the morning. _  
_

 

You wake up slightly hungover, but taking a shower helps you feel a little better.

The sun seems brighter than usual today so you put your sunglasses on. Gideon can yell at you about it later.

Mitchell meets up with you on your way to the mess hall. "[Y/N], how are you?" he asks. "I'm good. Hungover, but good."

"That explains the sunglasses." He laughs and nudges you.

"Have you seen the birthday boy? I have a feeling he's trying to hide from me." 

Mitchell shrugs. "Haven't seen him, maybe he's already at breakfast."

"I need to run out today to get some stuff. I want to make Gideon a cake, you wanna come?" you ask.

"Sure. I need to get away from this place even if it's just for an hour." Mitchell holds the door open for you and you're met with the smell of bacon and eggs. Your stomach grumbles. "Mmmm food," you say and Mitchell smiles.

You spot Gideon waiting for his food so you run over and hug him. "Happy birthday!" you say a little too loudly for his tastes.

"Thank you, but hush! I don't need the entire bloody base knowing its my birthday...and no PDA in uniform, miss." Gideon sounds serious.

You pull away to look at him and he laughs.

"Are we partying?"

"Um, no," Gideon says and you pout. "Why not?!"

"You know why."

"Well, I still may have a surprise up my sleeve," you say as you grab a tray and walk away.

"[Y/N]...[Y/N]! What are you talking about? Get back here!" Gideon shouts as you walk away.

 

You're joking around with Mitchell when Gideon storms over. "Whatever you're planning you better tell me now." He sits down heavily and looks at you.

"Ask Mitchell," you say.

"Heyyyyy!" Mitchell kicks you under the table.

"Mitchell?" Gideon stares him down. "What? I don't know!" Mitchell shrugs.

Gideon looks back at you and you wink. 

The rest of the time at breakfast is spent trying to distract Gideon from what you have planned. By the time you and Mitchell finally escape, his face is red and he looks fit to burst.

 

At the store you tell Mitchell that he has to keep Gideon busy as you bake. After getting all the ingredients you need, you guys make your way back to base. Mitchell goes off to keep Gideon distracted and you start baking.

Your phone rings as you're putting the cake in the oven.  _Gideon, of course._ "What Gideon?"

"Are you going to tell me what the hell you're up to?" he asks.

"Nope."

"Even if I commanded you to tell me?"

"You can try whatever you want, sir. It won't work." You laugh quietly as his growls over the phone.

"How'd you get so stubborn?" Gideon asks.

"I work with you," you say and hang up. You smile smugly to yourself.  _Gotcha._

The timer goes off so you remove the cake from the oven and let it cool before frosting it. You've already started sneaking tastes of the frosting. _The frosting has to make it onto the cake, [y/n]._

When you finish, you take a step back and admire your work.  _I'm no cake boss, but it looks pretty damn good._

You cover it and take it to your room. You look in the mirror and shake your head. You're almost completely covered in flour and whatever else you were using. You take a shower and put on clean clothes. Now you were ready to surprise Gideon. Hopefully Mitchell didn't have too tough of a time keeping Gideon occupied. 

Who were you kidding? Everything was tough when it came to Gideon.

Suddenly you realize that you haven't checked your phone since you talked to Gideon. Three missed calls and a text. One call is from Ilona and the other two are from Ruin, the text is too. No voicemail so it's probably not serious.

You open the text from Ruin:  _Hey. Hope you're not mad at me about last nite. Call me._ You text back:  _No I'm not upset. Just been busy. I'll call you later :)._ That should hold him over for now.

 

You're so proud of yourself and your surprise. By the time you reach Gideon's room, you have a huge smile on your face. You knock a few times and the door opens quickly. "Happy birthday, Captain!"

Gideon looks at you then down at the cake. "What is it?" he says nonchalantly.

"A cake, you idiot! What does it look like?"

"What kind?" he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Red velvet. You like?" You start feeling a bit discouraged, but then Gideon smirks. "How'd you know I like red velvet?"

"I didn't. Lucky guess."

He takes the cake from you and places it on the table by the door.

"Did you really stay in here all day? It's your birthday from crying out loud!"

"So?" Gideon shrugs.

"So you're acting like an grumpy old man and you're not...well...you're not old, but grumpy...that's a little true..." You laugh a little and he squints at you. "Is this why Mitchell has me doing stupid shit all day?" he asks.

You nod. "Yeah, sorry..but you'll enjoy the cake. It's worth it."

"I'm sure I will. You wanna come in and have a piece with me?" Gideon asks. "Duh!" You shove past him and he shuts the door shaking his head.

 

While you were enjoying cake, you had no idea that Ruin was nearby. He had missed the whole happy birthday part and only saw you go into Gideon's room in a hurry.

 

...and now your text about being busy had a totally different meaning to him...


	9. Just Let it Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruin upsets you, but you give him a way to make you happy again...

**Ruin's POV**

Ruin couldn't believe it, well he did, but he just didn't want to. 

He was the one that left her all hot and bothered the other night. What did he expect? He still couldn't help feeling angry though. She was there the day Gideon attacked him yet she still runs to him...

Ruin always wanted women he could never have. He thought she would be different, but Gideon complicated things. The old man obviously had some kind of pull on her.

Maybe [y/n] lied about them having a history. No. He didn't want to believe that she would lie to him.

He should probably just let her go before things got really complicated, but  _goddamn it_ he wanted her and he usually got what he wanted.

Ruin hoped deep down that he was wrong, that they were in there just talking and enjoying each other's company. That woman is irresistible though, one minute with her and all blood rushed from one head to the other.

 _Why'd you have to play the good guy, Donnie?_ He would ask himself that question forever.

 

How long had he been standing in that same spot?

Suddenly the door opens and [y/n] walks out smiling. She turns to hug Gideon and Ruin doesn't like how long he holds her.

He tries to pretend he was walking down the hall and she spots him. "Ruin, hey." She smiles at him and he almost forgets that he's supposed to be angry. "Hey," he says refusing to smile. 

"Where are you off to?" she asks.

"Just going for a walk. What are you doing here?" Ruin asks emotionless.

"I was bringing Gideon something for his birthday."

"I see. Did he enjoy it?" He was going too far now.

"Yeah, he did." She looks at him and furrows her brow. "Are we talking about something else?" she asks.

"I don't know, are we?" Ruin stares at her.

Shaking her head, she starts to walk away but Ruin follows her. "Did I leave you so sexually frustrated that you had to run to him the very next day?"

"Excuse me?" She stops walking and turns to face him.

"I saw the way you ran into his room like you just couldn't wait."

"We had cake, that's it. Please take your accusations somewhere else."

 _Shit._ "I..." he starts.

"You what?" she cuts in and Ruin stays quiet. "I'll talk to you later, Ruin. Goodbye." She walks away and this time he doesn't follow. He was back to being called Ruin now, she was pissed.

"Fuck," Ruin says to himself. He needed to get back in her good graces. How? No idea, but he had to think of something good.

 

**Your POV**

You were furious. 

Is that really what he thought of you? 

Why did it matter what he thought anyway? Even if you did do something with Gideon, Ruin had no right to judge you, did he?

Just when you were starting to open up to him, too. You try not to think about him anymore. You knew he was going to try and make it up to you, but you were going to make it tough.  _No you weren't. You can't resist that man._

Gideon didn't even try anything the whole time you were there, you were surprised. Did you want him to try something? No...maybe...you didn't know. Deep down you were still attracted to the Captain, it was hard not to be. He could drive you crazy at times though, just like Ruin. Why were you attracted to such hardheaded, feisty men? Was there even an answer to that question? Maybe you just liked the challenge.

Whatever the answer was, you had to figure something out. You take your phone out. A text from Ruin:  _I'm sorry I was a fuckin idiot. Let me make it better, pls :(._ Yeah, we'll see about that. You call Ilona.

"Hello, [y/n], what's wrong now? You're not pregnant are you?" she asks.

"What?! No! If I was it would be by immaculate conception," you say quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Listen, I need to talk to you."

"Okay, I'm free now, get over here." Ilona says.

"See you soon." You hang up and make your way to Ilona's place. When you get there and she opens the door, you give her your most pathetic look. "Help me."

"Get in here," she says. "What's happened now?"

You sit on her bed. "Well, I made out with Ruin. It could have been more, but he stopped."

"He stopped? What the hell is his problem? I can see why you're upset." Ilona sits next to you.

"That's not the problem. The thing is...well, I baked Gideon a cake for his birthday and I brought it to him. He invited me in and we enjoyed some cake together."

Ilona shrugs. "Okay..and?"

"Ruin saw me go into his room and he thinks Gideon and I had sex." You finish and take a deep breath.

"Did you?" 

You shake your head. "No. Gideon didn't even try to touch me at all the whole time I was there."

"I don't see the problem," Ilona says.

"I just...maybe I should stop this whole thing. Maybe I should try dating a man I don't work with. It'll make things so much easier," you say.

"Alright, but is that what you really want?" You look at Ilona. Why did she always have to ask the hard questions.

"Honestly, I don't know what I want right now. I don't know if I want Gideon. I don't know if I want Ruin. I just don't know." Your head is in your hands now and you're on the verge of tears.

Ilona puts her arm around you. "You know, it's totally okay if you want them both, it happens. Just calm down, I don't want you ending up in the hospital again especially over some men."

You wipe your eyes. "What am I going to do?"

"You need to do one of those men. Or both," Ilona jokes.

"Ilonaaaaaaaaaaa!" You shove her away. "Sex would just complicate things."

"Yes, but you would feel so much better." She smiles at you. She's probably right, but you just didn't know. "Okay, I'll be serious now," she says. "You have to do things at your own pace and you have to stop caring what people think. Ruin thinks you fu- I mean, had sex with Gideon, so what? He doesn't own you and the same goes for Gideon. Don't let these men take over your life."

You pull Ilona into a hug.

"But please, for the love of God, have sex with at least one of them so you have some interesting stories to tell me next time." 

You push her away again. "Why are you so interested in my sex life? Don't you have one of your own?" you ask.

"That's none of your business, young lady," she says.

"That's not fair!"

"Stop whining."

 

You leave Ilona's room without any information on her love life, but you feel a little better.

You are lost in your thoughts until a familiar voice calls your name, a voice that belonged to someone you weren't exactly on good terms with at the moment. He catches up to you. "Hey [y/n], can we talk?" Ruin asks.

"You can say what you have to say, but I can't promise I'll have much to say, Ruin." You continue walking no matter how bad you want to stop and stare at him.  _Why does he look particularly amazing right now?_ you think.

"Okay, I deserve that," he starts. "I was wrong to assume that you had, well, you know, with Gideon. Jealousy makes you pretty fucking paranoid and stupid sometimes."

"Stupid is right," you say. "Though if I did have sex with him, it's not like you could change anything." That struck a nerve, Ruin wouldn't even look at you now.

"Can you spare me the mental image of that? I can't bear it," he says.

"Is that all you think I want or something? All I'm good for?" you ask.

"What? No, of course not. If that was the case I would have...taken you when I had the chance. I'm not saying I  _don't_ want you, but it has to be right, you know?" He knew how to say the right things at the right time didn't he?

You wanted to try something. "What if I told you that I wanted you right now? That I wanted you to make love to me?" You stop walking and look at him.

"Is this some kind of joke? A test?" Ruin looks completely dumbfounded.

You shrug, "Maybe its how you can make me feel better after hurting my feelings earlier."

"I, uh, well....really? I mean if that's what you really want I ain't gonna turn you down. To be honest," he moves closer so he can whisper in your ear, "I've wanted to make love to you for the longest." It sends a chill down your spine and makes your legs weak, but you don't let him know.

"For the longest? You've only know me for a few weeks." You smile up at him and he smiles back. "I'm a man, sweetheart, a couple of weeks is a very long time. Do you know how hard it was to stop myself the other night? With your legs wrapped around me and your mouth on mine...I could have easily pushed you up against the wall and had my way with you." He was staring at you now, his eyes full of lust.

You wanted this just as much as he did. Now you were dumbfounded.

"I'm not a romantic kinda guy, but if you want me to play music and light candles, I will. Can't promise I'll be gentle though." When he said that, you were surprised you didn't moan on the spot. He was going to talk you right out of your clothes and...you kind of wanted him to.

You would probably never feel this confident again and God knows you wanted it.  _Here goes nothing..._

"Who said anything about being gentle," you say and walk away from him.

You turn to see if he's following. His eyes trail down your body then back up, he takes a deep breath and follows you into the building.

_You little vixen. Ilona, get ready for a very interesting story._

There was no turning back now...actually there was, but you didn't want to turn back...


	10. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't know what has come over you, but there's no stopping it...
> 
> ...and you don't want to.
> 
> ***THIS IS A SMUTTY CHAPTER***

**Ruin's POV**

He can't even remember how he got to her room, what led to this or his own name. All he could focus on now was her body pressed against his, her mouth on his and the sweet little sounds she made.

Ruin had rolled her over so now she was on top of him.

He should stop, but he couldn't. She wanted this, she said as much and he wasn't going to deny her.

He lets out another groan as she grinds against him again. She breaks the kiss and Ruin almost curses. Straddling him now, she pulls her shirt off and throws it on the floor. This is the most he's seen of her, so far, and it was enough to drive him crazy.

He reaches up to touch her, looking at her first to get the okay. She nods and and he runs his hands up her body to her breasts which are still covered by her bra. With a smug smile, Ruin gives the bra one good tug and it comes right off.

[Y/N] gasps and looks at him, "You owe me a new bra," she says with a smile.

"Do I?" He asks as he pinches her nipples. She is unable to answer and instead moans softly, throwing her head back in pleasure.

"What was that?" Ruin asks teasingly.

"You're not playing fair." She grinds against him suddenly and he hisses, grabbing her hips. He sits up quickly and flips her over, laughing quietly. "You're teasing me," he says. She tilts her head, "I'm teasing you? I think you have that all wrong. And how come you get to be on top. I-"

Her words are cut off by a moan as he sucks on one of her nipples. Ruin looks up at her, enjoying the look of absolute pleasure on her face. "You what?" 

She starts to answer but he sucks on the other nipple, biting a little and her words turn into incoherent babble. He looks at her again and she at him with half-lidded eyes. "I want to see all of you," he says sitting up and pulling her up with him. "Stand up and take the rest off," Ruin commands.

"So demanding," she says as she crawls off the bed. He takes the chance to slap her ass and she giggles.  _So that's how she likes it._

He sits on the end of the bed looking at her and making sure she can see the bulge in his pants. It catches her eye and she just stands there staring. "Something catch your eye, sweetheart?" Ruin palms himself through his pants and her tongue darts out her mouth to wet her lips.

"Clothes off," he says reminding her of what she was supposed to be doing.

He can see her hesitate. "Don't be shy, hun."

"I'm not," she says confidently as she unbuttons her pants and pulls them down. Ruin lets out a shaky breath as she steps out of them. There she was in nothing but her panties. She was beautiful. She was perfect. He looks down and points, "Off," he says in a husky voice.

She pulls her panties down slowly, agonizingly so, but finally she is fully revealed to him and he wants to worship her. "You're beautiful," he says. Her face is much redder now, partly from arousal and partly from blushing.

"What about you? I want to see...everything."

Ruin stands and unbuttons his pants, letting them fall to the ground. His boxers follow soon after. He's standing in front of her now, staring into her eyes, he can't look away. He's so taken by her that he doesn't notice her reaching out to grab his hardness.

The soft, warm hand wraps around his throbbing cock and a guttural sound escapes him from deep down. He looks down ti watch her small hand stroke him. This could be his undoing, but he is not going to embarrass himself like that.

She squeezes harder and pumps faster. "Fuck," he says through gritted teeth. "You want it, don't you?"

Her only response is a nod and biting her lip. 

"Let's get you ready first, shall we?" He pulls her hand away from him, it's covered in precum. She looks at her hand then at him and licks the precum off her hand slowly. His balls tighten in response and he pushes her down on the bed. "I'm not gonna finish until you do...more than once." 

Her legs spread on their own and he smiles.

 

**Your POV**

Ruin is devouring you with his eyes. You wanted this. You wanted him. Your body responded to him all on its own.

He was smiling now, his eyes trailing down your body until they landed on what he wanted. "I wonder how you taste," he says as two fingers slide up and down your cleft. It sends a shiver through your entire body.

"Please," you say, trembling.

"Do you want me to stop?" Ruin asks. You shake your head, "No..."

Two fingers slide into you and your breath hitches. It feels so different, so good. He begins to move his fingers in and out of you and your body arches off the bed. He leans over you so he can whisper in your ear. "Do you know how bad I've been wanting to do this to you? How often I've thought about it?" Ruin says, moving his fingers faster.

Suddenly, he removes his fingers and you want to cry. "Tell me to stop and I will." He sounds a little nervous.

"If I want you to stop I will tell you. Please don't..."

Ruin groans and slides his fingers into you again. You are so close already. He gently rubs against your nub and you lose it. The shockwave moves through your body and you feel like you're floating.

Before you can even start coming down from your orgasm, Ruin's head is between your legs and he is licking you like its the best thing he's ever tasted. His stubble adds to the pleasure. "I...oh my god...Donnie." You don't even know what you wanted to say to him. The only thing you were sure of was that you never wanted him to stop.

He slips his fingers inside of you again as he licks you and rubs against your g-spot. Without thinking, you grab his head and hold him down between your legs as you come again.

God, you wanted to scream, but you didn't need the entire floor knowing your business. 

Your body goes limp and he licks you one last time before you release his head. Ruin licks his lips as he looks down at you. "Delicious just like I thought you would be."

All you can do is smile at him weakly as you try to regain your strength. You could tell he was far from done with you and you were fine with that, as long as he let you rest a little.

 

**Ruin's POV**

He had more in store for her, but right now he was enjoying watching her come down from that orgasm. 

The taste of you was still on his lips, he never wanted it to go away. Ruin still couldn't believe this was happening. It wasn't a dream. He made her come more than once and she was laying there at his mercy.

His cock twitched at every little sound she made. The last time a woman had that effect on him was, well, too long ago. He wanted to feel her,  _really_ feel her. He wanted to bury himself to the hilt until she couldn't take it anymore. Like she said,  _"Who said anything about being gentle?"_

Ruin lays down next to her and just watches her. When she looks at him and bites her lip he almost moans.

She turns on her side so that she can fully look at him and he at her. Gently, she pushes him a little so that he was flat on his back.

Ruin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding as she climbed on top of him. He gave himself a little pep talk in his mind.  _"You know what's about to happen, get ready. I know you need relief, but hang on as long as you can, Donnie."_

"Is this okay?" she asks, ending his inner dialogue.

"This is perfect." Ruins says placing his hands on her hips. She leans down to kiss him as she lowers herself on to him. She let's out a breathy moan and Ruin surprises himself by almost shouting.

It had been way too long and obviously the same went for her. She was ridiculously tight, Ruin was almost afraid he would hurt her. Suddenly, she sits up and moves her hips in small circles. He holds on to her hips tightly trying to stay calm. 

Looking down, he watches her hips move on him and he groans. "Holy shit," he whispers and that was all the motivation she needed.

She places her hands on his chest and begins to move up and down, harder, faster. Ruin is loving it. He feels that all too familiar sensation and he growls and flips her over so that she's on the bottom now.

He slams into her a few times and he can feel her coming around him. It's almost enough to push him over the edge.  _No,_ he thinks,  _not yet._

Ruin pulls out of her suddenly and she looks at him, pleading with her eyes. "On your stomach. Now," he commands. She moves as quickly as she can. Ruin places a pillow under her hips to bring her ass up a little.

She looks back at him impatiently. "So needy." He smiles and runs his hand over her back to her neck. He grabs her hair, pulling a little and leans over her. "You may want to hold on to something." The only thing for her to grab is the pillow so she holds on.

Without warning, Ruin slams into her and he can feel her come right away. "If you keep doing that I won't last much longer," he says.

She purposely tightens herself on him and he moans. She looks back at him, it was her turn to smile smugly, "Come for me, Donnie."

She thrusts her ass up to meet his thrusts and Ruin shouts, no longer able to hold back. He hold her down as he pounds unto her, knowing she was just as close as he was.

"I...I..." is all she can say.

"I know...do it." Ruin feels her tighten around him for the umpteenth time and this time he lets her take him all the way.

He fills her up as she comes one more time, moaning his name over and over again.

"You're mine now," he grunts. "Mine."

She turns her body a little so he can kiss her as he softens inside of her. Ruin doesn't want to move, he doesn't want this to end.

"Stay," she says quietly, looking right into his eyes. "Stay with me tonight."

He slides out of her slowly and wraps his arms around her. "My pleasure," he says.

Ruin was happy her back was to him because she couldn't see the cheesy smile he had on his face.

"Mine," he says once more and kisses her head.


	11. It's For the Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of your actions come full circle..

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon wondered what she was doing right now. 

Was she sleeping? Was she reading? What she...thinking of him? Probably not. He knew he screwed things up with her, but he wanted to make it all better.

Things did seem to be getting back to the way they were between them. Gideon still couldn't help smiling when he thought about the cake she baked him. She actually spent time with him and they talked and laughed. Not once did he try anything sexual with her, even if he really wanted to.

She was so special to him and he wanted her to be happy. He didn't think Ruin could make her happy, but that may only be the jealousy talking.

[Y/N] seemed to like Ruin so much and Gideon just couldn't understand why. 

_That's enough, stop worrying about that man..focus on what you really want...her._

Gideon falls asleep thinking of her, as always.

 

**EARLY MORNING**

He wakes up from a dreamless sleep around 5:30 and decides to get up and go for a run. As he walks out of the building, he runs into Ruin who looks like he was just getting in from a wild night. He looks as if he was almost in a trance, a very good trance.

Ruin finally looks at Gideon and his smile fades a bit. He nods, "Captain," and gives him one of his arrogant smiles. Gideon only nods in return, he will  _never_ like that man though he was curious about where he was coming from at this time.  _Stop worrying about him, Gideon, think about [y/n], she's your motivation._

Gideon smiles and starts running. He loves running at this time, no one out here to bother him and this was his quiet time, his time to think. 

He runs a few miles then heads back to take a shower. He wanted to see [y/n], she'd probably be at breakfast.

By the time Gideon got to the mess hall, [y/n] was there with Mitchell and Ilona. Mitchell was eating and she was in deep conversation with Ilona as he approached the table. When she looked up and saw him, she froze.

"Good morning, [y/n]," Gideon says.

"Good morning, Captain...Gideon."

Why does she seem so nervous?

Gideon says good morning to everyone else and sits across from her. She hardly makes eye contact with him, something was wrong. Her head pops up suddenly, looking in the direction of the door.  _Ruin._

Ruin gets his food and walks over to the table, his eyes on her the entire time. He sits next to her and she looks at him, blushing fiercely.

Gideon has no idea what the hell was going on, but he was going to figure it out.

 

**Your POV**

Breakfast was ridiculously awkward.

You tried to act as normal as possible, but Ruin was making that almost impossible. Gideon kept his eyes on you the whole time. You needed to get out of there fast. It felt like everyone was judging you.

You stand and leave without saying anything to anyone. It's pouring rain.

Before anyone can follow, you run back to your room. Ilona would definitely be calling or texting you soon, but hopefully no one will show up at your door.

Your phone buzzes and its a text from Ruin.  _R u ok?_ You answer yes then silence your phone. 

Last night was amazing, spectacular, but this morning messed you up, especially when you saw Gideon. You felt guilty for some reason. Ilona would probably say that you shouldn't, but she wasn't going through this.

There is a knock on your door and you assume its Ilona coming to check on you. "Ilona, I really don't..." you say as you open the door, but stop mid-sentence when you realize it's not Ilona.

_Gideon._

Shit. 

He's soaked from the rain, his hair flat against his head, water dripping down his face like tears. "Gideon?" You're not sure what else to say.

"Expecting someone else?" He says, emotionless.

"I thought you were Ilona, sorry," you say with a small smile. "Would you like to..."

"How many times?" Gideon cuts you off.

"What?"

"How. Many. Times?"

Your heart drops. You know exactly what he means, but you don't want to believe it. "How many times what?"

"Don't play stupid now! How many times did you fuck him?!" He says it loud enough for the people walking by to hear and you want to run and hide.

"Maybe we should talk about this inside..."

"No. How many times?" Gideon asks again, his voice cracking. You look down, unable to look at the hurt in his eyes. "Once," you say quietly.

He nods. "I see. Do you love him?"

"Gideon, I..."

"Just answer the question," he says sadly.

"No, I don't love him." You feel a tightness in your chest and your vision becomes blurry.

"Is this your way of punishing me for waiting so long to tell you how I feel about you?" he asks. You shake your head. "No, of course not."

"Then what is it? How could you?" Gideon's looks at you and you want to beg for forgiveness. You were sure that the water rolling down his cheeks now wasn't just from the rain.

"I don't know, Gideon. I don't have a reason. If you hate me, fine, but I don't have a reason for you." One tear falls from your eye. Gideon gives you a small, sad laugh. "Hate you? I could never hate you, even after this and that kills me. You could do whatever you wanted to me and I would still love you... _fuck me._ "

You try to take his hand in yours, but he pulls away. "I'm sorry, Gideon," you say sadly.

"Yeah, me too," he says before walking away.

You watch him walk down the hall and disappear around the corner before closing the door. Leaning against the door, you fall to your knees slowly and cry.

_What have I done?_

**A MONTH OR SO LATER**

**Gideon's POV**

Over the last few weeks, Gideon avoided [y/n] and Ruin as much as possible. He took separate assignments and missions and paid no attention to the whispers about why [y/n] wasn't with him. He had even stopped dreaming of her, going as far as sleeping with some random woman while on assignment. Now that he thought about it, that woman look a little too much like....no, none of that.

Gideon was slowly getting her out of his system, he needed to for his own good.

He was on his way to meet with Irons, he needed to focus.

When he walks into Irons' office, he automatically feels that something is wrong. 

"Captain Gideon," Irons says as a greeting.

"Sir," Gideon nods slightly.

"I wanted to see if you know anything about [y/n] wanting to be reassigned."

"No, sir I can't say I do." He knew damn well why she was doing it, but that was too personal.

"She's one of our best. Letting her go would be a huge loss. What do you think, Captain?" Irons looks right at him and it makes him nervous. Is that how people felt when  _he_ looked at them? _  
_

"Well, sir, since I really don't know the reason behind her request, I'm not sure what to think. Maybe its personal." Gideon really didn't want to be having this conversation right now.

"Maybe," Irons says, "But I noticed that on the last few missions she hasn't been with you and she usually goes everywhere with you..."

Gideon shrugs. "I guess she wanted to do her own thing. Sometimes you get tired of living in someone else's shadow."

Irons looks at Gideon for a long time before dismissing him. He knew Irons wasn't going to let this go. [Y/N] was a damn good soldier and losing her would mean having to find a replacement and Gideon loathed training new recruits.

Maybe he could get Mitchell or Ilona to talk to her, he sure as hell wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to make himself look desperate. He doesn't need her.  _Yes you do._ No...he didn't.

Gideon asked Mitchell to talk to her first, but he couldn't find her. "She's not answering her phone and when I went to her room, she wasn't there..or maybe she just didn't want to answer the door. I'm not sure there's much I can say to change her mind anyway, Gideon. You know how stubborn she is. Besides, if this is what makes her happy, I won't stop her," Mitchell says.

"Right," is the only thing Gideon could say. When he asked Ilona if she had seen [y/n] she shook her head without saying a word and stormed off.

 _She's probably with Ruin_ Gideon thought, but then he sees Ruin walking towards him alone. They look at each other without saying a word, its best that way.

Where could she be? Gideon headed in the direction of the barracks without thinking and is in front of her door before he knows it.  _What am I doing?_ He knocks. 

She takes a long time, but the door finally opens a crack so only half her face is showing. She looks sad and tired, her eyes red and puffy. "Yes Gideon?" She sniffles quietly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just packing." Her voice cracks on the last word. 

 _Just let her pack. Just go._ "May I come in?" Gideon asks.

"I guess." She walks away from the door, leaving it open for him. He walks in and closes the door behind him, looking around.

She's sitting on her bed looking down at her hands. "So..." Gideon says for lack of anything else to say. [Y/N] looks up at him, eyes full of tears and a small, unconvincing smile on her face. "So." She stands and starts moving her bags closer to the door.

"Stop," Gideon says but she ignores him. "[Y/N]...stop..." he says again, still getting no response. "For fucks sake, STOP!!!" Gideon shouts, his hands shaking.

Still facing the door, she drops the bag she was holding and begins to sob. He wants to comfort her, wants to hold her, but he can't allow himself to do that.

"I've already made up my mind, Gideon," she says.

"I.... _Irons_ doesn't want to lose you..." Gideon corrects himself quickly.

"He'll get over it. There are plenty of people out there willing and able to take my place."

Fuck it.  _"No one_ wants to lose you, [y/n]...including me."

She turns to him, eyes still full of tears yet still able to look absolutely beautiful. "You?"

Gideon nods, "Yeah, me."

One tear rolls down her cheek and he wants to wipe it away, but she does it before he can.  _Please,_ he thinks, but she shakes her head. "I'll miss everyone more than you know, but I have to do this. I don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have. This is for the best." 

More tears spill from her eyes and this time Gideon moves in to wipe them away. He holds her face in his hands, worried that his rough, calloused hands felt horrible against her beautiful, smooth face. He should move away but he doesn't.

"Please, Gideon...don't make this harder than it already is," she begs.

"You belong here, damn it. You can't go." He kisses her, her tears wetting his face. She pulls away, taking his hands in hers, "I'm sorry." She takes a step back and lowers her head. 

Gideon sighs, wanting to reach out and grab her. "Wherever you go, no matter what happens, just remember that I love you."

[Y/N] doesn't say a thing and Gideon knows he should leave though he doesn't want to.

He leaves her room feeling defeated. He knew that he had lost her for good.

What Gideon didn't know was that she whispered, "I love you, too" after he had left...

 

...and he would probably never know.

 

 


	12. Like a Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You come back to visit your Atlas buddies after awhile and you rebond with Gideon..

**Your POV - A year later**

You had been working with Sentinel now for a year.

That was a year without seeing your friends at Atlas. The two groups worked together on some missions, but you never saw Mitchell, Ilona, or....Gideon. You had seen Ruin once, he was hard to miss, and you guys shared a fist bump..it was all there was time for.

These were the first days you had off in a long time and you were going to enjoy it. 

Ilona had begged to see you so you were on your way to the Atlas headquarters. You could hardly get out of the car as Ilona hugged you and held on for dear life. "I've missed you too," you say. She looks at you and smiles, "You're here!!!"

She keeps her arm interlocked with yours as you start walking. "How is everyone?"

"Everyone is good for the most part..." she hesitates.

"Ilona, what is it? What are you not telling me?"

"Gideon was hurt on the last mission...he was shot, just woke up yesterday. He must have known you were coming." Ilona smiles at you trying to lighten the mood. You smiled back and looked away quickly before she could see the tears in your eyes.

"[Y/N]!!!!" Someone shouts behind you. You turn to see Mitchell running full speed towards you. "Whoa!" you shout as he hugs and lifts you off your feet. "Hey Mitchell." He's squeezing the life out of you. "Can't...breathe."

"Oh sorry." He finally puts you down. "How have you been? We all missed you," he says.

"I've been okay, very busy," you say.

"Did Ilona tell you about Gideon?" Mitchell asks sadly.

"Yeah, I think I should go to see him now. If you two aren't busy later we should go out for drinks or something," you suggest.

"I'm always up for a drink or five," Ilona says.

"I second that. I need it," Mitchell responds.

"Okay, I'll see you guys later."

Mitchell hugs you again then Ilona. "Be strong," she whispers to you. She must have known seeing Gideon might upset you. "I will, thanks."  _Will you?_ You already felt like crying and you hadn't even laid eyes on him yet.

As you walk to the hospital you mentally prepare yourself and take Ilona's advice.  _Be strong._

 

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon could hardly move without pain shooting through his shoulder and his stomach. He couldn't remember much, but it felt as though he'd been sleeping forever. Waking up to Mitchell and Ilona made things a little easier.

When they left him, he had fallen asleep again, it's not like he had much else to do.

A nurse peeks into his room and knocks. "You have a visitor."

"Who?" Gideon had no desire to see anyone at the moment. He closes his eyes briefly. "Hey there, Captain," a familiar voice says. His eyes fly open and he attempts to sit up, sending a stabbing pain through his stomach. "Aghhhhhh!"

Feeling a little embarrassed, he looks at her, but doesn't see pity in her eyes only sadness. She walks over to him looking as though she wants to say something, but only a sob escapes.

"I'm sorry," she says through her tears.

"No, none of that." Gideon takes her hand and she holds on tight, bringing his hand to her face and holding it against her cheek. All he can do is stare at her, he can't believe she's here as beautiful as ever.

"I've missed you so much," he says not caring if he sounded desperate.

"I've missed you too."

"I thought I'd never see you again." His voice cracks and he clears his throat.

"Well, here I am and here you are..." She hugs him suddenly, but gently, not wanting to hurt him. He can feel her trembling so he squeezes her as tight as he can. "Don't hurt yourself, Captain," she manages to say.

"Too late," Gideon laughs lightly and he knows she's smiling. He loosens his grip on her, but still keeps his arms around her. She looks into his eyes, "You still look just the same."

"Liar. I look ten years older...more grey hair."

"Shut up, Gideon," she says rolling her eyes. Something takes hold of him and he kisses her. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, sorry." Gideon shrugs. She looks at him for a little while then kisses him back. "There. Now we're even."

That short, sweet kiss had him wanting to get out of bed and jump for joy. In that moment, he had forgotten about any pain he was in, physically and emotionally. Then he thought about that mission he was on and what he did with that woman after that business with Ruin.

Gideon felt guilty. He didn't want to keep anything from her, she deserved to know the truth.  _But she doesn't need to know this._ "I slept with someone," Gideon blurts out immediately regretting it. 

"Okay," she says and he looks at her in shock.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Did you want me to say something else?"

"I thought maybe you'd slap me or something." Gideon says.

She laughs. "Would you like me to? I had no idea you liked that kinda stuff."

Gideon shakes his head. "Only if you do it." The next question she asked took him by surprise.

"What did she look like?"

"W-what?" Gideon stammers.

"The woman you slept with, what did she look like?" she repeats.

"You. She looked like you." Gideon looks at her, gauging her reaction. "I'm sorry, okay?"

She shrugs, "Why? We're both adults that have needs. We're not together or anything."  _He HATED when she said that..._ "Besides, I hurt you and you did what you had to do to cope, right?"  _Still so damn stubborn._

Part of him wanted her to be angry, to be jealous. She had too much pride for that though. "I thought about you the whole time if that makes it any better," Gideon says.

"Oh my god...stop," she says blushing fiercely. She looks at him shyly and bites her lip. He can automatically feel his body responding so he shifts a little so it won't be too obvious. "Are you okay? You're not in pain are you?" she asks, worried.

"Not exactly."  _Think of something else._ "So how long are you staying?" Gideon asks.

"I'm not sure, maybe a week or so."

He knew he wouldn't be out of he hospital by then and he really wanted to spend time with her. She must have seen the look on his face. "Every day I'm here I'll come to visit, I promise."

"Yeah, but I want to be out of this place. I want to be able to take you out at least, have some fun. And look at me, I'm not very sexy in a hospital gown." Gideon looks down at himself.

"That depends...does it open in the back?" She asks and cracks up. She had the most beautiful, contagious laugh and now he was laughing even though it hurt.

He pushes her hair out of her face, holding her cheek gently, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb. "God, I missed you...I love you." Gideon has butterflies, he  _never_ got butterflies. She closes her eyes slowly, "I love you, too." She says it so quietly that he wasn't sure she had said it, but he hoped he heard correctly.

He felt himself getting tired and he dreaded it. He didn't want her to leave. "Gideon, you look tired. Get some sleep," she says.

_Fuck me..._

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Of course." She smiles and squeezes his hand. "Sleep."

Gideon doesn't know if she stayed until he fell asleep, but when he woke up the next day he could still feel her hand in his.

 

Over the next few days, Gideon made remarkable progress. Having [y/n] around made him want to try even harder.

Of course the day she was leaving was the day that he was finally able to walk for more than a few minutes without getting tired or being in extreme pain.

She was sitting in the room watching him intently, nervously. "Please be careful," she says.

"I told you I'm fine," Gideon responds. As soon as he says that, a pain shoots through his shoulder and he winces, stopping him in his tracks. [Y/N] jumps up out of her seat, but he holds his hand up to stop her. "I'm fine," he says again.

She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"Your eyes are going to pop out of your head if you keep rolling them like that," Gideon jokes. [Y/N] laughs, "You've been saying that to me since we first met."

"Yup and you're still as stubborn as you were then." He walks over to her slowly and she stands, holding her hands out just in case. He takes her hands in his. "Do you have to leave today?" She nods slowly, "I do, but it doesn't mean I  _want_ to."

Gideon smiles sadly. "You better come to visit."

"I'll tell you what, in a month we'll meet at your favorite pub. How about it?" She looks at him and he nods. "I'd like that."

[Y/N] brings her hand up to touch his face. "I'll miss you," she says.

"I know," Gideon says. "Okay, Han Solo." She laughs and he kisses her gently at first then a little more passionately.

"Gideon..." she whispers.

"I know. I know. I'll see you in a month." Gideon looks down.

She walks away slowly, looking back at him.

"I love you, [y/n]."

"I love you, too." She sprints from the room and Gideon lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He sits down in the chair she was sitting in and sighs.

_A month is not that long..._


	13. Like We Were Never Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your date with Gideon goes very well...

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon was nervous. Today was the day he was meeting [y/n] at his favorite pub in town. He had begged Ilona to help him find something to wear. His uniform was the only thing he was used to so he didn't have much else, but Ilona was able to throw something together anyway.

Since he wasn't going anywhere fancy, jeans and a nice t-shirt with a jacket were acceptable. Gideon owned maybe three pairs of jeans and this was only the second time he wore a pair.

As he looked in the mirror be tried to calm himself down, giving himself a little pep talk.  _You can do this. It's not like its your first date or something._ It sure as hell felt like it. It was his first date in a  _long_ time and his first date with [y/n]. That's what made him most nervous.

What if she hated what he was wearing? What if he was boring?  _Fuck me..._ Could he do this?

His phone buzzes and its a text from [y/n].  _See you soon_ it says with a picture of her. Gideon smiles.  _I can do this._

He drove into town and pulled into a spot in front of the pub. He walks in automatically scanning the room for her beautiful, [h/c] hair. He spots her looking out of the window intently, probably looking for him. She looks down at her drink then up again right at him. Gideon feels as though he is the only person in the bar as he locks eyes with her.  _How does she do that?_

She smiles and waves, standing slowly as he walks over. He notices a few men take a look at her when she stands, but he is not going to let that bother him. She's wearing jeans that fit her perfectly and a button up blouse that shows just enough.

"Hey," Gideon says awkwardly, cursing himself.

"Hey," she says back and hugs him. He wasn't a tall man, but she still was so small compared to him, it was adorable.

They sit and he looks at her, making her blush. "What?" she asks.

"Nothing. I just...its good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too, Gideon." She looks down at her beer then back at him. "I wasn't sure what to order you."

"I'll drink just about anything, sweetheart." He waves the waiter over and orders a Guinness, telling the waiter to keep the tab open. He wanted to make this night as great as possible.

 

**Your POV**

_Good lord, he looks great in jeans_ was your first thought when you looked at him. He had his hair that way you liked and when he took his jacket off you could see the tattoo on his neck. You wondered what it would be like to kiss it, to run your tongue along it, to bite it.  _Whoa, slow down there!_

Gideon kept staring at you and you hoped it was for a good reason. He seemed nervous and you were too though you tried to act as normal as possible.

As you both drank more, the conversation became more easygoing and now you couldn't stop talking. You both had a few shots and now he was sitting next to you. Being this close to him was getting to you in a good way. You could smell his soap or was it his cologne? Whatever it was, it smelled great.

He caught you staring at him. "What are you looking at?" Gideon asks.

"That." You point to his Union Jack tattoo.

"You like it?"

You nod and smile like a fool. "Yeahhhhhh."

He laughs and drinks some of his beer.

"I wanna kiss it," you say without thinking.  _Shut up!_

Gideon puts his glass down a little too hard on the table and stammers, "You y- what?"

"I want to kiss your tattoo." Your hand was on his thigh though you don't remember putting it there. "Am I being too forward? I'm sorry. I tend to get a bit more...confident when I drink." You feel a little embarrassed, but Gideon shakes his head, "No complaints here."

You had this uncontrollable urge to kiss him, but you held back. This was not the time or place for it...unless he initiated it.

You had to get yourself back under control. Maybe splashing some water on your face would help. You excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.

 

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon watched her as she walked to the bathroom a little wobbly and smiled.

It was probably best for them to take a taxi back to the base instead of driving, he thought.  _Who even said she was going back with you?_ Gideon was jumping the gun here. Yes, she was being flirty and touchy-feely, but that didn't mean she was sleeping with him tonight. As much as he wanted that, he didn't want to get his hopes up to have them crushed.

He started to feel sad until he looked up and saw her coming back to the table. "Why are you sitting here looking all sad?" she asks.

"You were gone for too long," Gideon jokes.

"I'll try not to leave you alone for too long next time." She smiles then frowns, the double meaning wasn't lost on him either, but he didn't want her sad tonight. They were supposed to be having fun. "You should come back to my place. I have video games," she says smiling again.

"Your place? You mean you're staying?" Gideon asks his eyes going wide. 

She shrugs, "I just started renting this place just in case I needed to get off the base every now and then, you know."

Gideon smiles. "So what game am I kicking your ass in tonight?" 

She makes a face at him, "Trash talking already? You better be good."

They have a few more shots then hail a taxi and take it back to her place. It was a loft, almost too much space for her, but maybe that's what she liked. 

She goes to put her stuff down and tells him to make himself comfortable. He walks over to one of the huge windows and wonders how the hell she gets any privacy. "Great windows, huh?" she says walking over to him.

"How do you get any privacy?"

"Well, no one lives across the street and I'm up pretty high...what do you think I do all day? Walk around naked?" She laughs.

"To each his own," Gideon puts his hands out and shrugs.

"Come on." She grabs his hand and pulls him to the sofa in front of the television. "I have almost every game you can think of." She stands and grabs a few games and sits down next to him, naming them all.

Gideon had stopped listening awhile ago. He takes the games out of her hands and kisses her. "Oh...so no video games?" She asks breathlessly.

"I'll stop if you want, just tell me to." Gideon looks at her for an answer.

"I think I like this more," she says with a smile. He was hoping she'd say that. "Wait." She pulls away from him, "Remember?" He looks at her, brows furrowed. She leans forward and kisses his tattoo. It was extremely sensitive there and he had to try his hardest not to moan like some inexperienced buffoon. "I've been wanting to do that since forever," she says. She kisses the tattoo again this time running her tongue along it and sucking gently. Gideon can't hold back his moan this time especially when she bites down softly.

"Was that okay?" she asks.

He's breathing heavily now, "What do you think?"

She grins then looks sad. "What is it?" Gideon asks.

"Do you think....am I a bad person? A nasty person?" She looks into his eyes.

"No, why would I think that?"

"Well, you know, Ruin...I didn't mean to hurt anyone, especially you."

"Look at me. I don't think any less of you. We're both human and we do things that don't make sense sometimes. I won't lie to you though, it hurt...more than anything, but I'm done living in the past. You're here with me now and that's all that matter. Now enough talking, kiss me." Gideon pushes her down. She smiles and pulls him on top of her, "Okay."

Gideon kisses her in such a way that she will forget everything but his name. "Wow," she says when he finally pulls away.

"I may be old, but I know what I'm doing."

"You're not old," [y/n] says rolling her eyes.

"If you do that tonight I have every right to punish you," Gideon says. She tilts her head, "Punish me?"

"Punish you, tease you, whatever you want to call it."

"We'll see who teases who." As she says this she grinds against him and he inhales sharply. Gideon looks up at the windows. "I still feel kinda unsure about those windows. They're so big and I mean, if someone sees...."

[Y/N] sighs and slides from under him, standing up. "Come on." She starts walking to the other room.

"Where are we going?" Gideon asks. Stripping down, she turns to him. "Let's take a shower." 

He is struck by her beauty....and her half naked body. She looks at him, waiting. "Oh." Gideon pulls his shirt off and looks at [y/n]. He sees a look of shock and possible admiration on her face. Her eyes land on his gunshot wounds and she blinks a few times. "Don't start," he says.

"You look...wow," she says. He walks closer to her and unbuttons his pants. She does the same and now they're both standing there in their underwear. "Don't tell me you've changed your mind," Gideon says.

"Never." She walks to turn on the shower and when she bends over Gideon smirks. "See something you like, Captain?" He didn't even notice that she was looking back at him.

"Oh, um..."

She smiles, standing up straight again and turning towards him. "You're beautiful." Gideon's eyes trail up and down her body for the 50th time. He watches as she blushes. It's adorable and sexy at the same time.

"I need your help," she says turning her back to him. His hands shake as he reaches up to take off her bra. She shrugs it off and faces him again. Suddenly, Gideon feels like its his first time all over again. He's staring at her like he hasn't seen a naked woman before. She looks like she wants to cover herself up.

"Is something wrong?" she asks self-consciously.

"N-no, I've just never seen something... _someone_ so beautiful before." [Y/N] looks down, blushing again then looks back up and jumps into Gideon's arms. "Do you say that to all your women?" she asks jokingly. Before he can answer, her lips are on his, her tongue against his. He puts her down and she pulls his boxer briefs down. Gideon isn't a shy man, but everything felt new with her. He was silently praying that she was impressed with what she saw.

"Your turn." He smiles. She pulls her panties down and stands up stepping out of her discarded underwear. "There," she says, her hands at her side palms up as if to say  _What do you think?_

"I know I've said this before, but you're beautiful." She was seriously the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She steps into the shower and looks back at him. "I'm going to need help washing my back, Captain." Gideon steps into the shower watching the water run down her body.

"I want you, Gideon...now..please." 

He never though he'd hear those words coming from her. "You can have me," Gideon says as he lifts her and presses her back against the wall. "I've always been yours." He kisses her as he slides into her slowly. Her legs squeeze around him and she gasps into his mouth.

This was really happening. He had thought about this for such a long time and he was hoping it wasn't a dream. Gideon starts to move his hips and [y/n] moans quietly. "Gideon..." She gasps his name and her nails dig into his back.

"Fuck me...", he says. This felt amazing.

"I am," she responds smiling. Just for that Gideon thrust up into her hard.

"OH MY GOD!" She groans. "Do that again."

Soon she is losing control, moaning his name over and over again. Once she comes down from her orgasm, she looks at him through lustful, but worried eyes. "What is it?" Gideon asks, still moving inside of her. "Mmm...your wounds...I forgot.."

"Shut up."

"But...."

"My wounds are the last thing I'm worried about right now."

"Let's go to the bed," she insists and Gideon lets her down, holding her up. She turns the shower off and he has fun watching her stumble out of the shower and walk on wobbly legs to the bed.

When she lays down, she notices him watching her. "What's so funny?" she asks.

"You," Gideon says climbing on top of her. "Me? How am I..." Her words turn into a moan as he slides into her again. He knows he won't last much longer, but he knows he's satisfied her and that's what matters.

Her eyes are closed. "Look at me," he says. She opens her eyes and reaches up to touch his face. He kisses her hand, "I'm close." She nods, "Say you love me again."

"I love you, [y/n]. I love you. I love you.  _I fucking love you."_ Gideon repeats it over and over again, picking up the pace with each thrust. "I love you too," she says looking right into his eyes.

"I...oh fuck...me...[y/n] [y/n] [y/n]." Gideon can't speak in full sentences anymore.

She throws her head back, shouting his name. He loves watching her come, but he can't watch for long as he is blinded by his own orgasm, the best he's ever had. He's shouting and groaning and moaning...since when did he make all these sounds?

Collapsing on top of her, he tries to catch his breath. Minutes later they are still tangled up in each other, Gideon's head on her chest. She has one hand rubbing his back and the other playing with his hair. This must be what heaven is like.

Gideon turns his head to look up at her only to see that she was looking at him too. "Hi," she says. "Hi." Gideon sighs. "You do know this means you can't leave now. I won't let you."

"I don't want to," she says. "I never did."

 


	14. The Most Important Meal of the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Gideon spend the night together and when the morning comes you make breakfast...

**Your POV**

You and Gideon spent the rest of the night talking about, well, everything. Eventually you fell asleep but were woken up when Gideon's hand found its way between your legs.

"I'm sorry. I can't keep my hands off you," he says, his voice full of lust. He proceeds to make love to you again and you both fall asleep happy and well sated.

When you wake up again, it is early morning and Gideon is still sleeping. You watch him and smile every time he makes a sound or furrows his brow. When he relaxes his face again you take the time to admire him. His beautiful, chiseled face, his high cheekbones. Have you ever looked at a man like this? Did you notice these things about him before? You look down at the bullet wounds and other scars on his chest and stomach, it brings tears to your eyes.

You eventually stop gawking at him and get out of bed to make breakfast.  _What does he like?_ you think to yourself as you walk to the bathroom. There are clothes thrown all over. Smirking, you pick up his shirt and put it on.

When you get to the kitchen you put some water on for tea and start brewing coffee.  _I don't know which he prefers. I guess I'll just make a normal breakfast._ Bacon, eggs, sausage, toast...you weren't used to cooking for someone else in the morning.

The last time you woke up next to someone was...you didn't want to think about that right now.

You turn the radio on and dance and sing as you cook.

You were so distracted by cooking and singing that you didn't hear the footsteps approaching...

 

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon had forgotten where he was for a few seconds after waking up until he rolled over and smelled her shampoo on the pillow. He smiled sleepily and got up to go to the bathroom.

His smile grows as he looks around the bathroom at all the clothes.  _Where is my shirt?_ He pulls his boxers on and follows the smell of food and her voice.

She was so distracted, singing, dancing and cooking that she didn't even know that he was standing there. 

"So that's where my shirt went," Gideon says loudly. [Y/N] shouts and turns around, spatula in her hand. Gideon cracks up. "You asshole," she says glaring at him then turning her back to him. 

He walks up to her and puts his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry, you were just so cute, I didn't want to interrupt. You're fun to watch." He can see her smirk, but she was still trying to be angry.

"Are you mad at me?" Gideon asks, his lips against her ear as his hand slides down her thigh. She slaps his hand away, "I'm cooking, sir. No time for that." He laughs and shakes his head. Her attempt at being stern was adorable, sexy even. The fact that she was wearing his shirt made it 100 times sexier.

"You can have some coffee or tea while you wait. I have blackberry green tea and English breakfast tea." She put extra emphasis on the breakfast tea. "You're expecting me to choose the breakfast tea, aren't you?" Gideon asks teasingly. She stammers, "Well, I-I thought maybe since...you know..."

"I'm only joking, sweetheart. I will be having that tea, but not because I'm English." He laughs and she does too. He pours himself some hot water in a mug and adds a teabag.

"Breakfast is done. Can you grab the plates in that cabinet there?" She juts her chin to the left and he reaches up to get the plates. He catches her staring at him and smiles. "Here are your plates. It's not polite to stare by the way," he grumbles. Her face flushes and she blinks a few times. "S-sorry."

"I was kidding. You can stare all you want, makes this old body feel good," he smirks. She rolls her eyes. "Sit."

"Yes, ma'am." Gideon watches as she makes a plate for him and then herself. She places the plate in front of him, "I hope you'll like it." It smelled delicious. "I'm sure I'll love it." His eyes drift down to her bare legs. He subconsciously licks his lips, thinking... _Is she wearing anything under there?_ Seeing his shirt against her naked body was...doing things to him. _  
_

"Gideon...Gideon? Are you okay?" Her voice calls from across the table. "Yes. Yes, I'm fine, sorry. Daydreaming. Why are you so far away?" She shrugs, "No reason. Would you like me to move closer?" Gideon nods, "Please."

He sips his tea as she walks to the chair closest to him.  _How could anyone be this sexy?_ She wasn't even trying to be, she just  _was._ "Am I close enough now?" she asks. Gideon nods unable to speak.

He couldn't remember the last time he woke up to breakfast and...a beautiful woman.

[Y/N] starts eating, "Are you going to try my cooking or are you afraid?" He looks straight at her as he takes a bite and she smiles. "Good?" His eyes move down to her lips, "Delicious." She blushes and giggles, "I wasn't sure what you liked for breakfast..."

"I would enjoy anything you make for me. I would love to cook for you some time." Gideon quips and she looks at him, shocked. "What? I actually do know my way around a kitchen, thank you." He takes another bite of food as she continues looking at him. "Something wrong?"

"I just...I'm not used to this. There's a half naked man sitting at my table, my Captain to be exact."

"Well, I wouldn't be half naked if  _someone_ hadn't taken my shirt." Gideon lifts his eyebrows at her and she turns red. "But it's so comfortable." She hugs herself.

"It looks great on you, but I have one question...are you wearing anything under it?" He grins smugly as she stiffens a bit and stops chewing. She shakes her head and smiles in an almost seductive way.

Gideon lets out a breath, "That's not fair." It's taking all of his control not to reach over and slide his hand up her thigh.

Suddenly she stands, he pushes his chair back and she straddles him. "Is this okay?" [y/n] asks innocently. Gideon can only nod and swallow. He tries to put his hands on her hips, but she grabs and holds them up by his ears as she grinds against him agonizingly slow. "F...fuck!" Gideon exclaims.

[Y/N] stands up and he lifts his hips a bit so she can pull his boxers down. She grabs his hands again tightly as she lowers herself onto him. He hisses and tries to pull his hands away from her grip...she won't let him go. 

Gideon wasn't used to this. He liked to be in control. Not having use of his hands was driving him crazy. "What..." he moans, "...are you doing?" She smiles and bites her lip. "What does it look like I'm doing? What does it  _feel_ like?" She moans as she rocks her hips on him.

"Oh...god...let me..touch you," he groans.

"No," she says quietly.

He groans as she rocks her hips faster. "Let me fucking touch you!" He says louder. She shakes her head picking up the pace.

"[Y/N]...please.." Gideon is desperate, losing what little control he had in the first place. If he can't touch her, he'll find some way to make his point. He thrusts his hips up and watches as her eyes widen and a near scream escapes her. "Gideon!" She gasps.

Hearing her say his name like that was enough to send him over the edge. She must have felt it too because she begins to tremble and move her hips jerkily.

Gideon finally pulls his hands from hers and pulls her body closer to his. "Do it. Let me feel you..." he says. Her moans get louder as she rides him harder until she hits her peak. He wraps his arms around her tightly and holds on to her as he continues to thrust his hips quickly, finishing not long after.

"God, woman," Gideon breathes, "That was the best breakfast I've ever had."

[Y/N] laughs, "You should see what we're having for dinner."


	15. All My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruin tells you something which complicates things, but you can't let Gideon know..

**Ruin's POV**

Ruin had been having the same dream now for weeks. He and [Y/N] together, no problems, no more missions, no more  _Gideon._

He spat on the ground when he thought of that name. 

The last time he and [y/n] were together, over a year ago now, he had realized that she was in love with Gideon. No matter how many times they had sex, she would never feel that way about him.

Ruin told himself that he was fine with it, that he completely understood, but did he? He didn't want to admit that he was jealous of Gideon, but goddamn it, he was.  _Why did you tell her it was okay? Why didn't you fight for he?_

He sighs and puts his hands on his temple as he walks. When he looks up again, there she was. He freezes.  _What the fuck is wrong with you?!_ That smile on her face, the way she was walking... _God, she is beautiful._

"Ruin!" she shouts running over to him, "Long time no see." She smiles and hugs him.

"We're still friends, you know. You can call me Donnie."

"Of course, I'm sorry. How have you been?"

Ruin shrugs, "Can't complain."  _Yes you can. You feel like shit, tell her. Tell her how you really feel._ Ruin shakes his head, focusing on her again. "And you, how are you?"

"I'm great." She smiles brightly and it makes him smile. The smile didn't last long when he thought of the reason why she was doing "great."

"Donnie, you okay? That frown is scaring me. What are you thinking about..and don't say nothing because I know it's something." She folds her arms across her chest.

 _How the hell does she figure stuff out like that?_ Ruin was ready to confess everything to her. "I...I'm just tired, ain't been sleeping too well," he answers still feeling as though she would know he wasn't being completely honest. She squints her eyes at him and nods, "I understand. I also know there's more that you're not telling me, but I'll let you tell me when you're ready." [Y/N] smiles that beautiful smile and...

 _Man, I love her_ he thinks.

Ruin is busy staring at her, daydreaming, when her phone rings snapping him from his reverie. She apologizes and answers her phone, walking away a bit. "Hey hun." Ruin tries to give her some privacy. When she laughs he can't help but look at how her face lights up.

"Gideeeeoooon," she says, blushing furiously. Ruin clenches his jaw and looks down at the ground. "See you soon. Bye," she hangs up. "Sorry about that."

He gives her a forced smile. "Don't worry about it." Part of him wanted to ask about Gideon, but he knew he wouldn't like the answer. He folds his arms, "How's Gideon?"  _What the fuck, Donnie?_ Even [y/n] looks up at him, shocked. "He's...fine. You knew it was him on the phone?"

Ruin scoffs, "You said his name and called him hun, who else would it be?" He knew it sounded a little aggressive, but he was in a bad mood now. She looked away then down. Ruin groans, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that."

[Y/N] shakes her head, "It's fine really." She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes.

He was ready to explode, ready to tell her everything.  _Don't do it, Donnie._

"What does he have that I don't?"  _Shit..._

Her head pops up, eyes wide. "Donnie...." He can hear the sadness in her voice. "Do you really want to talk about this right now?"

Ruin shakes his head. "The only thing, the only  _person_ I know I want right now is you."

"But you said...you told me.."

He cuts her off, "I know what I fucking said and I wish I never said it now! You should be with me..."

She looks around then back at him. "You let me go, Donnie. This isn't fair. Men just always want what they can't have and it isn't fair. You had your chance..." She looks as if she has more to say, but turns to walk away instead. Ruin grabs her hand and when she turns to him there are tears running down her cheeks. "Let me go," she says quietly, "Now." He loosens his grip and she snatches her arm away. "Goodbye Donnie."

He wants to go after her, but thinks better of it. 

_What have you done now, you idiot..._

 

**Your POV**

You wipe the tears from your face quickly. You're pissed,  _livid._ How dare he do something like that? Did he expect you to just run into his arms? You shake your head and scoff, "Idiot."

Gideon would be here in a little while, you had to get yourself together. That man could always tell when something was wrong, it was impressive but also worrisome. If you so much as mentioned the name Ruin around him, who knew what could happen? You nod to yourself. It was best to just keep this little episode to yourself.

You had to tell someone though. It was no good keeping this bottled up. 

 _Ilona_ you think and you call her. "Hello?" she answers.

"I need to talk to you," you say without preamble. "Um okay..come to the range." 

You hang up without saying goodbye and walk quickly to the shooting range. When you get there Ilona is talking to someone you don't recognize. You catch her eye and give her a look that says 'it's urgent'. She excuses herself from the other conversation and walks over to you. "What's going on?" You start to tell her but realize that you'd rather not talk about this here. Besides, you were starving. "Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's go." You walk off towards the mess hall and Ilona follows.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" She asks.

"Just wait until we're sitting, please."

Ilona is silent for the rest of the walk. You feel kind of bad, but you needed to be comfortable.

The both of you get food quickly and find an empty table. Ilona stares as you start eating quietly, avoiding eye contact. [Y/N], what the fuck?" she says angrily just above a whisper. You stop eating and look up at her, tears filling your eyes again. "Shit, did Gideon do something?" You shake your head. "Are..are you pregnant?" 

"No!" You say a little too loudly. 

"Well, come on then, spit it out!" Ilona nudges you.

"It's Ruin. I saw him today."

"Okay? You saw him today. Are you telling me you slept with him?" Ilona raises her eyebrows.

"No, nothing like that."

"Well?"

You go on to tell her every detail of your awkward meeting with Ruin. She doesn't say anything, but shakes her head here and there. "I guess you just have that effect on men," Ilona says when you finish.

"I don't need this complication right now. I don't need Ruin confessing his love for me while I'm happy with Gideon."

"Ruin what?!" You and Ilona both turn to the angry voice at the same time, shocked. Gideon was standing behind you two and you didn't even realize it.

Standing quickly, you hold your hands out, "Gideon, its nothing really. Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about... _don't fucking worry about it?!"_

"Stop shouting, please. Calm down." You try to grab his hand, but he moves it away. "Where is he?"

"I-I don't know. I haven't seen him since..." Your sentence is cut short hen you notice that Gideon's focus is no longer on you, but something behind you. His jaw clenches and your heart drops. You turn slowly to see that Ruin has just walked into the mess hell. "No..." you say in a whisper. "Gideon, please...its not worth it."

"You're worth it, trust me."

"No, not again please!" You can only stand and watch as he walks away and Ilona grabs your arm to hold you back. "I can't let this happen again, Ilona!"

"Well, I'm not letting you get hurt again," she says grabbing your arm tighter.

The last thing you see is Ruin putting his tray down as Gideon approached him as Ilona pulled you out of the mess hall through the side door.

 _This is all my fault,_ you think as Ilona wraps her arm around you and ushers you away quickly...


	16. Endgame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon confronts Ruin and takes things a little too far this time..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you all I wouldn't take too long with this chapter! I hope you all enjoy it
> 
> I put a little something special in there for you..and a little for me :P

**Gideon's POV**

Gideon was ready for a fight. He knew [y/n] would be mad at him, but he had had enough of Ruin. He almost took her once before and Gideon wasn't about to let it happen now.

He could hear Ruin sigh loudly as he approached as if to say "What is it now?" Gideon's hands automatically clench into fists at his sides. That smug asshole had the nerve to smile at him. "Is there a problem, Cap-" before Ruin could finish the question, Gideon's fist crashes into his jaw. "Yeah, there's a fucking problem, mate," he says calmly. "The problem is that you can't take a fucking hint."

Ruin wipes blood from his lip and shakes his head, "You realize it's not up to you, right? Its all up to her."

Gideon had to fight the urge to punch him again. "She's made her decision and you can't handle it. That's why you're trying to ruin what she and I have." Ruin shrugs, "She can always change her mind."

He had tried to hold back long enough, but he was pissed now. His fist crashes into Ruin's jaw again and again. Ruin growls and swings back, hitting Gideon in the nose. "I'm stronger than you, man. Don't do this again...you'll lose," Ruin grumbles.

They are surrounded by the other people in the mess hall now. Ruin starts to walk out and Gideon follows closely. "I'm not done talking to you yet."

"I'm done talking, old man." He turns in a flash and decks Gideon. Gideon stumbles a little, but stays on his feet. The crowd has followed them outside, but they don't care.

Ruin was strong, but Gideon was angry and when he was angry there was no telling what he could do. Ruin smirks, "How does it feel knowing I had her first? I made her moan, made her come...before you did. She loved every minute of it."

All of the sudden Gideon pulls out a gun and aims it right at Ruin's face. "Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn't pull this trigger right now!" His hand is shaking, he had never been this angry before. Gideon was ready to kill this man without hesitation. Suddenly Mitchell moves in front of him. "What the hell are you doing, Gideon?" he asks.

"Get the fuck out of the way, Mitchell. This doesn't concern you."

"No. Put the gun away. Think about [y/n]." Mitchell sounds sad when he says that last part.

"I am thinking about her."

"No you're not. If you do this, you'll go to jail and have to look at her through a glass for the rest of your life. Is that what you want? Do you think that is what she wants?" Mitchell is almost pleading now. Gideon can't even make eye contact. That smug look on Ruin's face is gone, replaced by a stoic, but fearless stare. Gideon's knuckles are white from holding the gun so tightly. He could end it now. He could put a bullet right through that asshole's head.

"If you do this, he wins...well, I mean, no one wins technically because he'll probably be dead and you'll be in jail, but you know what I mean." Mitchell gently places his hand on Gideon's to lower it. He stiffens for a minute, but exhales and lets Mitchell take the gun from him. "Let's get out of here," Mitchell says but Gideon looks at Ruin again and walks over to him. "Gideon..." Mitchell says warily.

"If I knew I could get away with it I would kill you...and yes, that's a fucking threat. You can go run and tell if you want, I don't care. You're lucky that [y/n] needs me, that I love her." 

Ruin only glares back not saying a word. "She's made her choice. It's time for you to move on." Gideon spits on the ground near Ruin's feet before walking away. The crowd parts quickly to get out of the way and Mitchell follows close behind, the gun nowhere to be seen.

"What are you going to do now?" Mitchell asks.

"I need to see her. I just need her right now." Gideon walks quickly to her room not caring if Mitchell is following or not.

 

**Your POV**

You had cried and cried as Ilona just held you. There was nothing to be said. You were angry and scared. Ilona didn't make you talk about anything.

Eventually, you had fallen asleep and when you woke up Ilona was gone, but she left a note telling you to call her if you needed anything.  _What would I do without her?_

The person you really needed to talk to right now was Gideon, but every time you scrolled to his name, you hesitated.  _Give yourself time, he probably needs to cool off anyway._ You weren't sure if not hearing from him was a good thing or a bad thing. No one had called to say that he was hurt or anything, but you still worried.

At first, you were angry at Ilona for pulling you away, but then you remembered what happened last time. You touch your nose softly and shudder. Suddenly, there is an urgent knock on your door that makes you jump.  _Please don't be bad news..._

It was probably just Ilona checking on you, she was so dramatic sometimes. You put a smile on your face and open the door nearly jumping out of your skin when you see Gideon standing there instead of Ilona. His face is bruised and you think you see some dried blood. Without speaking you move out of the way and let him come inside.

After closing the door, you turn to him, but his back is turned. You go into the bathroom to grab a cloth to wipe his face with. He is still standing in the same spot when you come back into the room.

This time, you stand in front of him and begin wiping his face gently. He winces a few times and it makes you wince. Gideon looks at you and your heart beats out of your chest. "I almost killed him, [y/n]. I held a fucking gun to his head. I -..." he stops when he sees that you backed away from him.

"You what?"

Gideon shakes his head. "Mitchell stopped me. He..." You slap him before he can finish and he looks at you, eyes wide.

"And what would you have done after that, Gideon?! Leave me here to cry while you sit and rot in prison, that's what!" You were shaking now.

"Well, I didn't do it, did I?! I'm standing here in front of you! He just...made me so fucking  _angry_! The things he said about...Tell me now if you want him! Will you leave me for him?" Gideon's accent seemed to get stronger when he was angry. "I know I don't deserve you but, fuck me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove myself to you." He drops to his knees in front of you. You have never seen him so vulnerable before. "I want you, [y/n]. I need you."

You get on your knees as well so that you can look at him. "I love you, Gideon and I'm not going anywhere." You smile softly and he pulls you to him. "I love you." Then he kisses you passionately and you melt into him. "Please..." he says and you nod.

He tilts his head a little giving you access to his tattoo. You kiss it and lick it and bite it, leaving him almost whimpering. Gideon lays you down right on the floor, kissing you again, pressing his entire body against yours. 

His hands find your pants and you lift you hips so he can pull them down. You knew what he wanted, what he needed and you wanted it too.

He lifted your shirt over your hips to reveal that you were bare under your pants and he smirks. You reach for his belt and start unbuckling quickly. Gideon pushes your hand away and unbuttons the rest himself. He pulls his pants and briefs down just enough to reveal himself and you moan.

He nudges your legs apart and places his hands on either side of your head to brace himself. "Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me," he says.

"I love you, Gideon. I wa-.." He pushes himself into you fully and the rest of your words are lost in a gasp.

"What was that?" Gideon asks smugly but shakily. You no longer have the ability to speak. You couldn't believe you were on the floor making love like this.

Gideon looks as though he's trying to hold back. "Please..." you beg.

"I just...don't know if I...can be gentle for much longer." He's straining now.

"Don't be," you tell him and a groan escapes him. He sits up on his knees and grabs your hips. He looks at you once more to make sure you're okay. You nod once and he slams into you making you both moan. You tell him not to hold back and he doesn't.

He was angry, he was passionate, he was...the man you loved.

 

Lying on the floor together too lazy to get up after that sorta make up sex, his head on your chest as you play with his thick black hair, streaked with grey. "Did you always have so many grays?" You ask jokingly.

"What?" Gideon's head pops up and he looks at you. His face is serious at first, but he can feel your body shaking with held back laughter. "I'm joking. I love your hair, always have."

"Well, I hope so because its only going to get grayer." Gideon smiles at you. It's so rare that it takes your breath away. Too bad it is short lived when his expression gets grim. "What's wrong?" He shakes his head, "I don't want to lose you...especially to him." You shush him and hold his face in your hands, tracing his beautiful cheekbones with your thumbs. "I am here with you. I've made my choice and nothing will change my mind. Of course, we'll have days when we can't stand each other, but I am prepared to fight through them."

He blinks a few times and turns his head to kiss your hand. "I love you...I'm  _in love_ with you."

"Ditto," you say smiling. He smiles back, laughing a little then kisses you and all is right with the world.

 

**EPILOGUE**

**Ruin's POV**

That piece of shit had the nerve to pull a gun on him. How did Gideon even find out about him telling [y/n] that he loved her? Did she tell him? Why would she do that? Ruin shakes his head. That wasn't important right now. What was important was getting back at the old man.

He made him look like a fool in front of all those people. If Gideon's little friend hadn't stepped in, Ruin was sure he would have pulled that trigger.  _Killing a man over a woman...wouldn't be the first time and wouldn't be the last._

Was she worth it though? Was this woman worth his life? This woman that he had known for such a short time, he was willing to die for...to  _kill_ for. 

_Man, you're whipped..._

It wasn't fair. Ruin had her first then that idiot had to come along and tell her that he loved her. 

_Yeah, kinda like you._

 

He was the one that let her go. He noticed that [y/n] always seemed to be somewhere else when they were together. She was in love with Gideon, plain and simple. Ruin knew he could never win her over...or could he?

He didn't like losing, never did. He wanted her so why couldn't he have her? The only obstacle was Gideon.

Ruin couldn't believe some of the ideas he thought of: an "accident" while out on a mission, friendly fire, just fucking killing him. 

_Murder, Donnie...really?_

Maybe make her jealous by dating another woman...

_You're too old for that shit..._

Ruin was getting frustrated, but he couldn't give up. He somehow had to make her see that he was the one for her.

As he laid in bed thinking of her, he realized that he would never stop fighting for her no matter how long it took. Did he want her this bad because Gideon had her? Maybe but Ruin was used to getting what he wanted and she was no exception.

[Y/N] would be his one day. This was a game he was willing to bet on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I'm not exactly certain that I want this to be the last chapter but it is FOR NOW. I may think of more to add, but I am focusing on my Black Ops 3 fic now.
> 
> BTW you all can find me on tumblr: gravityspikemyheart  
> Follow for video games, Troy Baker and just about everything else! 
> 
> You all don't understand how much all the kudos and feedback mean to me. I appreciate and love every single one of you! Thanks again for reading!


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